tainted love || lee heeseung

Part 10

the days after heeseung left were agnoizingly slow. each moment weighed down by a sense of loss and regret. you wish you could've went with him. but the other part of you knows that this was for the best. but his absence felt like a gaping void that seemed like it would never be filled or satisfied. the sunrises no longer held the same excitement for the day ahead of you spent with him, and the nights were now filled with loneliness instead of your shared laughter.

but as the weeks passed, a subtle shift occurred. a shift so subtle that you didn't realize it had happened until weeks after. the painful hole in your heart started to fill with light that you thought you had lost forever. the world, once shrouded in comfortable, dark shadows, started to regain it's bright, welcoming colours.

you called your parents.

you dialed their number with a sense of hope, knowing that your past conversations had been filled with anger and resentment. but as your mothers voice greeted you on the other end of the line, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. tears started streaming down yoru face as you began to apologize.

your parents' voices were filled with love and understanding. they forgave you, and for the first time in a long while, you felt the warmth that came with love and care. it was the first step of healing for you. the first step to rediscovering your brightness that life could offer you.

you began to rebuild your life. working towards finding a journalism job, fixing your relationship with yoru parents, and resetting goals you had lost for months.

you reached out to mary, wanted to make amends for how distant and unkind you were to her. you met at your favourite cafe, the familiar scent of coffee and baked goods creating a comforting atmosphere for your nerves.

mary looked at you with curiosity and concern as she sat down in front of you. you took a deep breath as you both said hello. your voice already filled with sincerity and apologetic.

"i'm so sorry, mary. for the way i've acted and how we ended it. i shouldn't have pushed you away or treated you so poorly. i know you were just trying to help me– and you know, you mean the world to me. so i hope you can forgive me. if not now, then in the future."

mary's eyes softened instantly, and offered you a forgiving smile. "of course, i forgive you. it was kinda my fault you met heeseung in the first place."

his name makes your heart ache, "what do you mean?"

"i'm the one who wanted to use the oujia board remember."

a smile cracks on your lips, "right, i guess so." mary laughed for a second, before her eyes widened suddenly.

"so what did ever happen with him? is he, gone?"

you gulpped before you speak, "it's a long story, but yes, he's gone."

mary nodded in understanding, "so what're you going to do now?"

your shoulders perk up at her question, "well i'm almost done selling the house– and i've got a job in new york at a newspaper reporting job."

mary's eyes expand in surprise, "that's great, y/n! but you love that house!"

you shrugged, "i loved that house. i've had a change of heart. i want something new, with no memories attached to it– or oujia boards in the attic."

mary laughed, and offers her coffee mug in the air for you to clink yours together, "here's to fresh starts– and having no oujia boards in attics." you smile at meet your mug with her's, welcoming the new beginning of your life.

as you sipped your coffees together and caught up on each other's lives, you felt a renewed sense of hope. the future was filled with uncertainty, and the pain of your separation from heeseung always lingered, but you knew the memory of him will only help guide your future.

you were determined to shape a future that would be defined by your newfound strength and resilience, and a life enriched by the lessons you learnt with heeseung.