"Sometimes I get so tired, I don't even know myself."

Chapitre 1

Jane wiped the thin layer of sweat covering her brow with the sleeve of her jacket and readjusted her grip on her gun. Her clammy hands were trembling from the effort. They had had that tremor since Hoyt pinned her to a basement ground with scalpels through her hands, but no one had ever noticed it. It was more pronounced when she was tired. She barely had had any sleep that past week with the new case she was working on. She was running on caffeine and the high doses of coffee she was drinking made her unstable according to Maura. She hadn't had much of a choice to keep standing and working. She had gotten a few hours of sleep here and there but it wasn't enough. She would sleep later, when that whole case would be done with. Which should be soon since she was holding their main suspect at gunpoint.

"Put your hands up."

Her voice was raspier than usual, almost like a voice laced with sleep still, except she hadn't slept at all in the last forty-eight hours. She had been following leads after leads only to realise that they were all fake. And today, one of the leads turned out to be a good one.

"You look awful, Detective. Is that because of me?"

The suspect was laughing at her miserable condition. The dark bags under her eyes, the sweaty and trembling hands, her nervousness. Her discernment was clouded. She was on the edge and was prompt to make a mistake at any time.

"Shut up! Put your hands up so I can see them."

She blinked. The sweat was getting in her dry blood-injected eyes and stinging. Two suspects were facing her now. How could that be? She hadn't heard or seen anyone else before. Why did they look the same? Did he have a twin with a weird sense of humour that was dressing like him? Why were their movements so synced?

"Don't move or I'll shoot you both!"

"You made a mistake, Detective. You shouldn't have run after me alone."

The sounds of gunshots filled the alley followed by the unmistakable smell of smoke and blood. Jane was staring at the sky now. Where were the suspects? When had she fallen? Her chest hurt. She heard people laughing. Where was her gun? How could she have dropped it? She was so tired.

"What are you gonna do now, Detective?"

Their faces were dancing before her eyes, their voices echoed in her ears. She couldn't move. Her gun was out of her reach. She couldn't keep her eyes open. She was cold. Why was she so cold? She closed her eyes. She shouldn't. She struggled to open them again. She just wanted to sleep, but they kept laughing. She heard a distinct click and the cold muzzle of a gun (was it hers?) was pressed against her forehead.

"Goodnight, Detective."

Yes, goodnight. That was all she was wishing for. She closed her eyes, heard the gunshot and thought it was over for her. Instead, the cold barrel moved away from her head and a body fell to the ground beside her with a thump. She blinked. The suspects were gone. Korsak was knelt beside her. She grunted when he pressed his hands on her chest.

"Stay with me, Rizzoli!"

She smiled at him although the scene reminded her too much of another frightening situation in another time. Except she had no scalpel in her hands that time. She was just lying in the middle of an alley, and she was terribly cold and exhausted.

"Rizzoli!"

She opened her eyes (when had she closed them?) and glared at her mentor and friend for daring wake her up when she desperately needed to sleep. She swatted his hands, but he kept them on her chest.

"Don't fall asleep, Jane. You gotta stay with me."

"But I'm so tired," she whined.

"I know, I know. But you gotta hold on just a little bit longer for me, alright? Can you do that for me?"

"I'm cold."

She was chattering. Korsak took off his jacket and covered her with it but never ceased to apply pressure on her chest. She made the mistake to look down and saw his hands covered with her blood that was flowing through his fingers. His knees were bathing in a puddle of her blood. Now that was bad.

"You're gonna be okay. Just hold on, Jane."

She wasn't sure that Korsak was actually talking to her, and even if he was, she was listening anymore. She was too tired to keep her eyes open despite his pleas. She believed him, she would be okay. She could hear the sirens getting closer and closer to them, but she was already asleep by the time they loaded her in the back of an ambulance and rushed her to the closest hospital...