welcome and goodbye ≫ judah lewis

prologue

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It couldn't have been more fitting. The day was somber, the sky coated itself with clouds. The leaves had already begun to change weeks ago. Sweater weather had graced us with its presence once again and I felt at peace.

I walked with ease down the streets I've known all my life. I'm convinced twenty years could go by and I'd still be able to map out every crack in the side walk I've ever seen in my little city. There's beauty in simplicity, in routine and in familiarity. I love this about my home. Suburbia is riddled with people who go about their mundane lives in utter unawareness of what life ensues outside of it. I am no stranger to that.

On this particular day, I find my walk ending at a door. I am in front of the burger joint I've gone to since I was a child. I welcome the warmth that awaited me as I stepped inside, it felt like a hug. I make my way over to the counter and order with an elder woman. She's frazzled and quickly pressing buttons on a screen without any hesitation. I'm just another customer, an order number on the system.

I happily take my receipt with a smile and sit in a booth near the parking lot window. My mind wanders aimlessly and my ears soak up the sounds of the diner. Chatter surrounds me, shuffling, ovens beeping and machinery at work.

"How about here?"

A gleeful voice breaks through the muffled noises. I look up to see a girl holding a tray with two orders on it. To her right is a boy, he nods along and smiles at her. They sit on the same side, placing all their things down and settling in. Their shoulders touch and she leans over to kiss him softly on his cheek.

They're sitting in the booth.

The booth we sat at. The same side we'd take. The direction we'd face. The same age we were when we first came here together. They look just as happy as we did. Just as hopeful and just as pure.

I have to force myself to look away, I almost can't. They look just like we did. I'd almost forgotten how often we came here together and how persistent he used to be on sitting next to me, never across. He appreciated the closeness of it and how much more intimate it felt to him. I just wanted to make him happy, so I never paid it any mind.

"Order number 78!"

My head jerks up and I blink away the wateriness in my eyes. I collect myself and finally muster up the courage to go get my food. My drink sits neatly for me next to the most unappetizing brown bag I've ever seen. I take it and slowly make my way toward the door. I can't bring myself to look in the direction of the kids in the booth, but I can hear them giggling to each other and watching a video.

Suddenly, all I can think about is him. Six months. It's been six months since we last spoke. I've thought about him almost every day, the pain was unimaginable in the beginning. I would've done anything to make it stop, but I couldn't. There was no turning back the clock, no redos, no big romantic gestures, no getting back together. I'd never felt more unlovable and weak in my entire life. I'd lay in bed for hours, wanting to do everything and anything to take my mind off him, but simultaneously wanting to do nothing but think about him and replay every good and bad moment we've ever had.

But today, I wasn't that person anymore. I get out of bed now, I don't torture myself with nostalgia like I used to. I hadn't bothered floating down memory lane in quite some time. Not until now, but it's different this time. It hurts in a different way. It hurts because I'm growing, I've begun letting go and I hadn't realized that till now.

I push open the door and fully submerge myself in the autumn weather. It's sprinkling outside this time, I can feel small droplets trickling down my skin. I feel like I can breathe again, my chest unknots itself and I can't help but smile a little.

'We were never met to be, but how lucky we were to find that out together.'

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧