Missing and Presumed Dead

A Critical Decision

What did he want?

Telling Luke and Leia about their mother, the argument and the hug it had spawned, prompted that question to replay in Vader's mind with every breath the respirator took.

What did he want?

He'd wanted to be a Jedi, once. And yet, had he really wanted that? In many ways, he had, but now that he looked back on it, becoming a Jedi seemed like a dream Qui Gon had dangled in front of a scared slave boy as a ticket to freedom. But instead he'd swapped a literal master for an immense pressure to be the one to fulfill some idiotic prophesy, all while gaining little trust from those who were supposed to support him.

After much thought, Vader realized that the only thing he'd ever done in his life that he'd truly wanted to do was marry Padme. And even their relationship had been constrained with lies and deceit as they hid their love from the galaxy.

Do you even know what you want?

Luke's question haunted him, because the answer to it would have ramifications that he was afraid he could not control.

Especially when he realized while meditating that he'd never actually wanted to become a Sith.

Not really, at least. He'd told himself he did for years and years, to justify what he'd done, to give meaning to what he'd lost.

He'd wanted to save Padme. Becoming a Sith had just been a means to that end.

The revelation didn't change what he was, or anything he'd done. But it did give clarity to the answer to Luke's question.

He wanted his family. Or what was left of it.

He wanted his children.

The answer felt obvious. He had, after all, spent almost two months capturing Leia, then searching for Luke, then healing said son. He'd known he wanted his children since the moment Boba Fett brought him the name Skywalker.

But this...this was different.

The reports he received about Rebel movements were meaningless. The idea of spending his time with his troops over his children made him restless, and any moment he spent away from them, they were always at the forefront of his mind. He didn't even care that the officers had noticed the change in his behavior, and he flat out ignored Piett's concerned expressions as he hurried away from duty to retreat to his wing of the ship.

He wanted Luke and Leia. And he was willing to do whatever it took to keep them. That revelation certainly had galaxy-changing ramifications.

And who better to conspire with than Leia, a leader of the Rebellion?

At least, in theory. She'd barely spoken to him in the days following the argument. If he was honest with himself, he too had been avoiding her. And as much as he hated the yawning rift between them, he could not blame her for reacting the way she had.

But perhaps he could turn that around. Perhaps he could win her.

He was sure he had the plan to do it.

He waited in his office, staring out at the stars as he tugged incessantly on their bond. She ignored him, as expected, but he did not let up.

Her annoyance increased to flat out anger and finally he felt her storming towards the room. He smirked triumphantly as he listened to the door swish open behind him, followed by the bright, furious presence of his daughter.

"What do you want?!" she seethed, coming to a stop beyond the desk he rarely used.

He turned to face her, crossing his arms over his chest. "When I call you, I expect you to answer."