Deja Vu

story

 The arrival of fall is always quiet, and unnoticeable. It starts with a slight chill, the homework, the leggings, the Starbucks' Fall Drinks' arrivals, the golden leaves and the wind. The arrival of love is always quiet, and unnoticeable. Love starts with a meeting, a twinge of heart, mindless dreaming, short attention spans, the hearts you draw in your notebook.

And yet, love almost always ends worse than fall. The departure of fall is the biting air, the frost, the snow, the Christmas lights being hung up, the hot cocoa, and the candy canes. The departure of love is the heartbreak, the tissues, the sad movies you watch, the best friends, the comfort food, and the urge to smash everything he owned or smells like him, or anything that reminds you of him.

I knew the departure of love even more than fall, I knew the heartbroken look on everyone's faces. But this fall wasn't like every other, because I met him, and he left me in pieces instead of the other way around.

It started with the dare. And it ended with Titanic. And it left me regretting it, wishing I could go back to October when it first started.

And I did.

"...Autumn?" Casey snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hello?"

I shook my head, and took my airpods out of my ears. "What do you..."

And stopped short. Because Casey in March had long lucious brown curls, but the Casey now had straightened medium length hair.

"We were just talking about that guy over there," Casey pointed him out. "Whaddya think, girl? Wanna play a game?"

I glanced at her. I was never close with Casey, and she was always just a lackey to me. Yet, she was the one that had started the dare, the one who had initiated the whole plan...

And holy crap I was back in October.

*_*_*_*_

Covering my surprise, I rolled my eyes at her. "If you want me to play, you have to be specific."

Casey clasped her hands together and looked at me. "Ask him out. And date him...but he gets to dump you."

I scoffed. "No way." I made the mistake of agreeing to that last time, thinking that it would be a mutual thing and I wouldn't fall for him.

Casey looked disappointed, and I felt a tinge of annoyance. My love life was just a joke, something to talk about, something that she thought she had control over?

"Fine. Then just go and ask him out, but you can't just dump him one-sidedly."

I glanced at the airpods, the song still ringing in my ears.

And I go back to December all the time~

"Fine." I looked up, and smiled. "I'll play."

*_*_*_*

I haven't seen him for so long. The days after we broke up, I avoided him, which wasn't hard, as he wasn't in any of my classes, and we always sat on opposite sides of the cafeteria. His curly blond hair, and the freckles, and the green eyes...nothing seemed different. And maybe it was because there was no difference. But there was something different, he seemed lighter, seemed less burdened...had our relationship done that to him?

"Hey." I strode up beside him, and took his earbuds out. The same thing I did five months ago. The same move I did to start the whole game.

"What." He asked blankly, looking down on me and frowning. I forgot how tall he was.

"What's your name?" I asked, knowing his answer.

"Mateo." He responded in the monotone voice again.