I will burn

VII. Evil

I woke up and touched my lips.
What a strange dream that was.
But the worst part was, I wouldn't be sure if Dorian could remember the dream or not.
I'd figure that out only once we would see eachother.
I contemplated whether or not stay in bed, but I decided not to, the worst thing that could happen now was Dorian walking in.
My stomach turned at that name, but not in the way that I'd be disgusted by him.
Perhaps myself instead.
I went downstairs and found none was up yet. I started making breakfast, while watching the sunrise.
I remembered last night again and I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I tried opening the cabinets with my telekinesis, it was strenghtening and I managed to reach for wheat and pick it up.
,, Thou are up early" Dorian appeared behind me and made me drop the wheat.
Thankfully, he didn't bother asking.
,, Ay" I stuttered and tried not to make eye contact, afraid he'd find something in them I didn't want him to know.
,, What's for breakfast?" He asked.
,, Bread, and maybe some soup" I said and grabbed some more ingredients, except this time with my hands.
,, Sounds good" He helped me get the ingredients.
He looked like he was about to ask something but then a few kids came downstairs and insisted on helping us.
I was glad I wouldn't need to discuss anything with him.
By the time the sun fully rised we made breakfast.
We didn't speak then, nor during breakfast.
I wanted to bring his silence up a couple times but felt uncomfortable.
I ate my food faster than usual today and washed my dishes as soon as possible to get away from him.
The weather outside was better than yesterday, unfortunately good enough for us to go chopping wood.
We put on some extra layers and went outside, where the early winter air welcomed us.
Martha was already by her cauldron, cooking up potions and teaching her kids how to make them once again.
,, How come they always have something new to learn about?" I asked when we were far enough from them.
,, Since they're still young, so the brew has some side effects on them. Such as partial memory loss. So every month my parents reteach then about potion making and spells and anything else they forgot" He explained.
,, Why do they even bother anymore?" I asked.
That was when I had enough courage to look at him.
He looked lost in thoughts, but not neccesarily sad.
,, It gives them a purpouse" He explained.
,, And what's thy purpouse?" I felt stupid after asking that yet I wanted to know.
He stay silent.
I didn't ask again.
One would think he wouldn't say anything after that, but his talent of talking took over once again.
It was a norm by now that he was only ever affected by sorrow.
It was nice, to be around someone so different in that way.
,, Let's go swimming" He brought up randomly.
,, Are thou out of thy mind?" I asked, still chuckling.
,, Nonsense, wait here" He said and ran inside the house.
Was he trying to get us frozen to death?
I chopped down another tree while waiting.
It was a mystery how these trees could grow back so fast, even only a day after getting chopped down.
,, Follow me" He said, carrying a jar filled with a orangy glow.
So I did.
We walked along the lake till we got a river it was spilling into.
He opened the jar and just like yesterday, the glow was absorbed into the water, that immidietly started bubbling.
He didn't even take off his clothes and jumped right in.
By now, I was compleatly sure he was not sane.
When his head peeked out of the water, he looked compleatly dry.
,, What are thou waiting for?" He laughed.
I started taking off my jacket but he assured me that wasn't necessary. So i sat down and stepped inside the lake.
I didn't feel the water touching me, yet I still felt it holding me up.
I started swimming toward Dorian.
,, How is this possible?" I screamed at him horrified.
,, I don't know either" He laughed watching me struggle to swim.
,, Don't thou know how to swim?" He asked, tearing up from laughter.
,, Shut up" I couldn't help but laugh too.
He swam toward me to help me.
Once his palms made contact with my waist, I got those electric shocks through my body again.
I couldn't understand what I was feeling, or why I was feeling it.
It made me uncomfortable, just him being thise close, but at the sametime it made me crave his touch further.
It made me wish he had to take off his clothes before swimming.
I looked anywhere but him while he teached me how to swim.
But I couldn't help my curiosity on what he was thinking of.
,, Thou know how frogs look while swimming?"
He asked. ,, Perhaps?" I said slowly and confused while looking at his forehead.
,, Great, then just move thy legs like frogs." He instructed me.
He let go of me but I could feel his telkinesis gripping onto me.
,, And do this with thy hand" He signaled the move with one of his hands.
,, Try it" He held onto my waist again.
I could barely focus on anything but that.
Even then I did as he said and really, I swam.
,, See? Thou are doing it" He laughed happily, still not letting go off me.
,, I see" I looked him in the eyes and couldn't help but smile.
His eyes and hair shimmered in the sunlight.
I wanted to read his mind. But I was scared he might know.
My eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips, and I could feel his did too.
He slowly wrapped me around my waist.
,, Lunchtime!" Cassius yelled from the distance and the tension faded.
The water began getting cold again.
We got out of the water and the electric shocks were replaced by shame and anxiety.
The last time I felt this way was with Aldric.
I never thought I could feel it with anyone else before.
And I didn't.
Not even with Aldric I wanted to.
I hated him.
My stomach turned at the thought of him, because of hatered.
,, Get away from me, thou wicked freak!"
Echoed in my mind so loud I couldn't hear the outside world and as Dorian was calling my name.
,, Thou coming?" He was standing in the door frame.
I stayed silent and followed him outside.
He looked worried.
I realized I needed to kill Aldric, if I was ever gonna feel better.
Because he was the parasite eating my mind.
,, Who's ready to learn some spells?" Martha asked the kids, like they were a kindergarden.
They all cheered.
,, Alright! What spells are we going to learn?" I sat down on a log next to Dorian.
One of the kids raised her hand.
,, Lucky spell!" She said.
,, Very well!" She said and lit one of the sage green candles she brought with her which she kept in the air with her and Cassius's telekinesis.
Let's begin. Everyone stand up and put ye palms together and imagine under luck" She instructed everyone, so we did as she said.
,, And now, once ye did. Imagine achieving this thing ye call luck, if anyone has trouble, tell me" She said.
I hesitated. But at last I thought of revenge.
I didn't know if that was what she meant by luck. It was definitally different for everyone.
I was taken over my thoughts in the silence.
There was a growing darkness in me I couldn't stop.
I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was the night of my execution.
I was in the catacombs.
My back hurt because of the rough ground and because earlier this day Father summoned spirits who hit me with a whip all day. Like I was some dirty pig.
I began crying.
Crying so uncontrollably hard.
Not knowing what was awaiting in less than a week.
I screamed.
I shouted for help, for some level of mercy.
,, Why me?! Why are thou doing this to me?! Thou fucking monster! I fucking hate thou beyond anything else. I hate thee father, I hate thee I hate thee I hate thee! I'll fucking kill thee" I screamed on top of my lungs.
With no answer at all.
I rolled onto my side and continued crying.
I knew none couldn't hear me down here, yet I was still naive enough to think someone would.
I screamed on top of my lungs.
I screamed so loud until I started coughing.
So hard I screamed out my vocal chords.
I kept coughing blood, while trying to scream.
I couldn't feel anything anymore afterwards.
I couldn't even cry.
I was too weak to even be.
I passed out.
,, Hey, thou there?" Dorian shook with me. I passed back from the flashback.
I opened my eyes slowly.
,, Ay" I said weakly.
,, Oh my, honey what's wrong?" Martha sat down next to me and held my face.
I tried dodging anyone touching me, while still trying not to hurt them.
,, I'm tired" I lied and controlled my anger.
I was uncomfortable I was the center of attention.
I was embarassed I passed out like this.
I was angry at myself, at them, at everyone.
I had to kill everyone in that Empire.
I stood up with shaky legs and a spinning head.
,, Oh dear. Let's get thee to bed" Martha guided me inside.
,, Ye stay here and continue practicing" She told everyone else.

The whole day I stayed in bed.
I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.
Over and over again I thought about my past and all I experienced.
It was unbarely painfull, even more than when I stood on that platform waiting to be executed.
I knew I couldn't like this way for long.
I started hearing people walk in the hallway, heading to bed.
I rolled my back away from the door and felt like I was in those catacombs, lying on the rough, cold ground.
Suddenly, the door opened and I turned around scared immidietly.
I realized it was jsut Dorian though, holding a purple glowing lantern.
I turned on my back, relieved.
,, Are thou feeling better?" He asked.
,, Ay" I lied.
I wanted to cry, but I didn't want him o see me vulnurable.
He'd think I'm weak.
,, I'm glad" He sighed in relief.
He should've left then, but he stood still in the door frame like he wanted to say something.
,, Is something wrong?" I asked when he wasn't leaving.
,, Oh, nothing. Sorry" He replied.
,, Goodnight, Linius." He said.
,, Goodnight" I said.
He left and closed the door.
I tried falling asleep but the flashbacks wouldn't stop bothering me.
I got up and went outside because I had to distract myself.
Once I got outside I saw a rabbit running around.
I tried hypnotizing it to killing itself.
I felt no remorse for it once it's back broke.
And then it was silent.
There was no sound in my mind, outside or anywhere.
Maybe just crickets hiding in the grass.
I walked to the river to test my telekinesis.
It was easily the strongest of my powers.
I tried manipulating with the water and making myself a pathway through.
It was easier than I thought and once I got to the other side I tried holding all the water out.
I never tried holding something so heavy.
But it felt easy.
Not even a single bit of struggle.
I threw the water back in.
I looked into the water and noticed the moon reflecting onto it aswell as my pale reflection.
My hair was still as black and my eyes were still blue but something in me felt different.
Ready to come on surfuce like a crow flying out of it's nest. Or a huge dark force.
It felt worse than anything else I ever felt, but also better than anything else I ever felt.
I felt the power of it awakening in me.