Nakakatawang maglaro ang tadhana.
All this time binubuo mo siya, para lang mapunta siya sa iba? Tangina.
Sampung taon? Hindi, higit pa.
Eleven years. At sa eleven years na yun akala ko kami na talaga. Akala ko siya na talaga. Nagawa na namin halos lahat ng pwedeng gawin ng magkasintahan.
Iba't ibang uri ng dates– museum, picnic, roadtrip, street food, samgyup, magtry sa fine dining, manood ng iba't ibang genre ng sine, coffee dates, nap dates, kahit travel abroad.
Nasubaybayan namin ang isa't isa mag-grow. Mula sa dugyutin at immature na Grade 7 hanggang sa grumaduate kami sabay sa college at maghanap ng una naming mga trabaho.
Pero bakit kayo naghiwalay?
Honestly? Hindi ko rin alam. Ang alam ko lang, hindi siya sumipot sa supposedly birthday date namin sa isang 5-star hotel sa Ortigas at hindi na siya nagparamdam ever since then.
That was last year, October 18, 2022. Exactly a year ago.
Bigla nalang siya nawala sa buhay ko. At no, hindi siya namatay. I know because I have a friend na friend ng kapatid ni David.
Even now, saying his name breaks my heart.
I tried everything I could to get an explanation. We were together for 11 years so I know his parents, and him mine. I tried talking to his parents but they wouldn't answer my calls, my messages were only "sent", at even worse lumipat na sila ng bahay.
Hindi ko na nakikita ang whereabouts ni David dahil binlock niya na rin naman ako sa lahat ng social medias niya. Even his close friends blocked me. I tried sending an email but I never got a response.
It's like he completely vanished. Except he is alive and my friend na friend ng kapatid ni David has a proof, a picture of my ex boyfriend in casual clothes with his arm wrapped around a woman's shoulder. They were smiling ear to ear.
I gave him everything. By everything I meant everything you can think of – time, money, pleasure, efforts – oo binigay ko ang lahat. Wala naman kasi akong rason para hindi yun ibigay dahil sa loob ng 11 years walang rason para pagdudahan o pagdamutan ko siya.
He was a knight and a prince. He saved me when I didn't even know I needed saving. I was a princess until he turned me into a damsel in distress.
And here I was staying in the same bed, in the same room of the hotel we reserved one year ago. Alone and heartbroken. What should be a night of sugar and spice became a night of misery and loneliness.
"Babe? Sorry I'm late." My dark thoughts were disrupted when the hotel door opened, revealing my husband David.
"It's fine hon, kakarating ko lang din. Kumain ka na ba?" I lied even though I was waiting for him an hour ago. The things you do for love.
"I didn't pa kasi I'd like to share a meal with you sana."
"Oh, okay. Should I cook? Anything you have in mind?"
"Actually babe, I made a reservation. Would it be fine if we eat outside? After all, it's your birthday today. I don't want my Queen to be doing anything else apart from being hot and sexy."
"Stop it, bolero as always. I'll get ready lang."
"Are you gonna take a shower? If yes, sabay na tayo. Para tipid sa tubig at kuryente."
Spoiler alert: we never arrived on time sa reservation because we made love in the shower and after showering.
Oh right, welcome to my mind. I'm Margaret happily married to my high school sweetheart. Sometimes in my spare time, I have these dark thoughts going on. Things I don't wish to happen but thinking about them make it less scary kasi I have anticipation na and I can prepare in case shit hits the fan.
Minsan, mas nakakatawang maglaro ang isip.
