Perfectly broken

Chapter 1

Three years later
Anastasia's pov:

"Ana are you in there ? Can I come in ?"

The voice of Matteo from behind the door draws my attention away from my thoughts and brings me back to reality. A reality I tried to escape countless of times when I was younger. But, at each time, I failed until I finally came to peace with it. I accepted who I am and most importantly the family and the word I both belong to.

Matteo opens the door and steps in my office. "Ana why didn't you tell me that you were here when I knocked the door for like five times successively?" He says worry visible on his face.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear anything.  "Sorry I didn't hear when you knocked." I say.

"I already checked on you in your room, but you weren't there. So, I figured out that you would be here."

Matteo is one of our soldiers. But, the of us don't have a relationship like a boss and his employee would have. He is my friend and my confidant. In other words, he is the brother I never had. He always had my back when I needed him.

I had known him since I was eight and he was ten. His father was one of our underbosses. When he died, twenty minutes, Papa took care of him.

In this bloody world, I feel so lucky to have him. He takes care of me. He is the one who reminds me to eat my anxiety pills. He is the one who brings me takeout food when I skip meals. He is even the one who helps me change my bandages when I get myself hurt.

"You didn't sleep last night, didn't you ?" He asks. Of course he did notice the purple bags under my eyes. I shake my head to agree with what he just said.

"I spent the entire night studying the incomes of our casinos and bars. I developed a new strategy to improve our profits from the bars and the casinos. I will put it on execution the next month. You can say that It was a long night, a productive one as well."

"Is it insomnia again?" He asks.

"Yeah." I reply with a low voice. I have suffered from insomnia for several years now. I blame it on being a part of the mafia. I need to be on alert 24/7. I used to take some sleeping pills before going to bed until I decided to stop using them few months earlier.

Matteo makes a few steps towards my desk and sits on one of the leather chairs.  "Look, maybe it is time to get some help. I know a doc-".
"No." I cut him off immediately not letting him finish his sentence. We already discussed this matter countless of times and my answer didn't change and it will never change.

"But, you always say this." He says frowning at me. I avoid his eyes that are fixed on me. "Why are you here so early?" I say trying to change the subject much to Matteo's dislike since he rolls his eyes.

"Trying to change the subject, aren't you?" I think he got my answer though my silence.

"Mr. Antonio is expecting you at his office." I raise my eyebrows in surprise.  "In this time the morning?Isn't it early?" I question. He simply nods.

Papa rarely asks me to meet him this early in the morning. So, this needs to be important and serious.
"Let's not make him wait then." I say as I rise from my chair and leave my desk behind me where are laying tones of papers. I make a mental note to collect them later. Matteo opens the door for me. "Thank you." I say offering him a simple smile.

I walk down the corridor where Papa's office is situated. I knock the door. It is a ritual I am used to do since I was little as Papa cares a lot about etiquette. Hearing him say « come in » from behind the wood door, I turn the knob and enter his office.