Perfectly broken

Chapter 28

My words are left hanging in the air as he doesn't respond. His face becomes straight deprived of any sign of emotion. And suddenly I feel scared about what he is about to say. «No.» He finally says.
« What ? » I ask. He can't be serious. He can't do this to me. Not after everything. I look at him in the eyes searching for any hint of affection he showed me hours ago. But, I found none. «You are not going to Spain.» His tone was strict and his words cut through me like a knife.

His reponse hit me so hard. Why is he doing this to me ? "The war is over Dante. We are at peace now. I don't see any valid reason for holding me here. And as I told you my friend died. You know how much she means to me."
"Don't be stubborn Anastasia. And, no matter what you say, I am not going to change my mind. The fast you accept it the better."

I get my hands out of his hold and he doesn't protest. For a moment I miss the warmth of his hands over mine. I allow myself to look at him in eyes one last time. They turned into a shade of dark black that make feel terrified of him. In just few seconds, he turned into a totally different men. But, no. I am not going to let him dictate my actions. I have never been such a person and I will never be.

"Then you can watch me go." I get out of the bed and I get on my feet.
"What do you mean ?" He growls from behind me once I put my hand on the knob of the door.
I clench my fists and I turn around.  "It means that I am going to Spain whether you like it or not."
"No you are not going."
"Yes I am. You can't hold me here hostage against my will." I say before I open the door and I storm out of his room as quickly as possible. I rush to my own room. Relief fills me when he doesn't follow me.

As soon as I step into the room, I close the door behind me. I sit at the edge of the bed. I put my head between my hands and I close my eyes. I try to take in all what happened and I can't wrap my mind around it. I just can't believe that she is gone. Gone without a comeback. Whenever I think about it, I feel utterly lost. I exhale deeply. It feels that there is an empty spot in life and hole that can never be filled like the one my mother lest behind her after her death.

My mother lived her life. She fell in love with my dad, she got married and she even had me. She lived a life after all. She experienced moments of joy, of sadness. People loved her. The contrary of my father, she was like an angel falling straight out of heaven. She never dared to kill a soul like I do. You can say that I inherited that side of me from my dad. What makes it even hard to swallow Julia's death is that she was so young. She couldn't even attend school lime the other kids or even play outside with friends. Why does life have to be so tough ? Why does innocent people go through things that they didn't deserve ? Isn't this so unfair ?

I can't even imagine in what state of mind is Matteo. He must be devastated. Julia meant the world to him. Not only to him, to me me as well. I get my phone from the floor and I compose his number. The phone keeps ringing but he doesn't answer. I call him one more time. Again no response. So Instead I call Valerio. He is one of my most trusted men. Of anyone could tell me how is Matteo, it is him.

"Where is Matteo ?" I ask as he picks up.
"No one knows where he is Mrs Anastasia. When he heard the news, he got into his car and we have no idea where he went." Mierda. Where could he be ? Matteo is not the type to get wasted when something happens.
«Valerio, I want you to get me a private jet to Sicily in an hour. "
"Mrs Anastasia, uhh"
"Did you not hear me?" I wasn't normally this severe with our men but today I didn't have the nerves to stay calm.
"Pero... But you are on the famiglia's territory right now. Their capo won't be satisfied with such a thing and Mr Antonio won't even allow it."
"I gave you an order as the daughter of your capo. » And as your future capo as well, I wanted to say. As Dante's wife no one expects me to hold on the title and no one knows about my mission here. « If you don't do as I said, the first I do once I land is I am going to kill you." Then, I hung up and I throw the phone on my bed. If Valerio couldn't manage to get me a jet, which is certainly what will happen, I'll have to fly commercial. The problem is that I am not sure of I will find a ticket this late. Plus, I'll have to travel without any arms. I can't remember the last time I got out of the house unarmed. Pretty sure it will feel like walking around around naked.