Gone Without You Oneshots

A Mother's Love

My first Gone Without You Oneshots and definitely not the last, enjoy some angst that hopefully adds a bit more to the main story.

Spoilers for my book ahead!
================================

Leafy couldn't bear hearing the fretful little cries that came from her son as he lay beside her.

The poor thing had a fever and his little face was red and his temperature was worryingly high.

Leafy had taken off his fluffy pajamas, leaving him in a little legless onesie that was made from a thin material but he was still warm and he kept trying to get his mittens off his hands.

"I'm sorry Grovey, you gotta keep those on I don't want you to scratch yourself," Leafy smiled, still trying to soothe the child.

Grove continued to cry, it wasn't a shrill cry but it was a sad, slightly scared sound and it broke Leafy's heart.

"It's okay baby, Mama's here, I'm looking after you, you're all okay," Leafy cooed.

Very carefully, Leafy picked Grove up, holding him upright so she could kiss his nose.

"Hey, gorgeous boy, Mama's got you,"

Despite her best attempts Grove still cried.

Leafy knew that he was sick but she wanted to sleep, she was tired too, she needed rest.

It was moments like these that made her want Firey more than anything.

She held Grove close, feeling his heart beating against her as his tiny hands held on instinctively.

If Firey were here he could have helped her, he could have taken some of the stress and responsiblity of all of this.

But he couldn't, he was gone, leaving her behind to sort through the pieces he had given her.

She was the one who got the brunt of everything, she was the one who had to deal with all the pain of losing him.

She had organized the funeral, the whole thing, she had sorted through all of his belongings, she booked all of her doctors appointments, she did all of this by herself.

And she did it alone.

Of course, her friends and family helped in the ways they could but it would be stupid to say that she didn't do the most.

None of this would have happened if Firey was still here, he wouldn't have let it happen, not to her.

But he died, leaving her alone.

How selfish, how cruel.

Leaving her behind with a child who won't stop crying or fussing, she was fed up, sick of it.

She had never asked for this and yet here she was, sleep deprived and drained and it was all Firey's fault.

He did this to her, he was the one who threw all his inhibitions out the window for some stupid, unknown reason.

She wanted things back the way they were, before she had this burden, before Firey died, before her heart had broken.

She wanted to be able to sleep properly, without being woken by crying, she didn't want to have to deal with trying to figure out what the baby wanted.

She wanted to live her life without having to consider how it would impact the helpless infant in her hands.

She didn't want the stress or the constant anxious feeling she always had nowadays.

She didn't want to he alone anymore.

She wanted Firey back, not Grove.

She didn't want this life, it was too much to deal with.

This shouldn't be her life, she didn't deserve this, the crying was so irritating and horrible, she wanted it to stop.

She didn't want-

A small, muffled giggle interupted her thoughts and she was taken back to the real world

Grove was laughing to himself, playing with a little bear button on his onesie, with the sweetest smile Leafy had ever seen on his face.

She couldn't help letting out a sob as she held Grove.

The realization of what her thoughts had been hit her like a ton of bricks.

How could she be so heartless? This was her child in her arms, her baby boy who was the softest, sweetest thing she had ever known.

And the last real piece of Firey she had.

Tears rolled down her face, soft sobs came from her and her shoulders shook with each breath.

She stared at Grove and watched as he kicked his chubby little legs and his gentle eyes gazed back at her, his body leaning toward her in search of his mother's comfort.

Firey had given her this life, this was what she was left with, this beautiful boy, who was so perfect and precious.

Her baby, her son.

She held Grove to her chest, still crying as she kissed his delicate head and breathed in his fresh baby scent.

From that moment on, Leafy would be the mother Grove deserved, she knew that's what she had to do.

She would work hard to make sure herself and Grove could live a comfortable life, she would make sure he knew he was loved and she would make sure he was happy.

This was all she could do, for so long she had been searching for a reason to keep going, to keep trying.

And now it was right in front of her, a little bundle in her arms, clutching onto her and slowly falling asleep.

Grove was doing his best to stay away, looking up at his mother with green eyes that were just like hers, he held her finger with his hand as she cradled him

Softly, she started to sing to him, her voice calm and light while she stroked his fluffy hair and kept him close and safe.

"Are you my baby? Are you my perfect little guy? Yeah, you are, you're my Grovey," she whispered in a sweet tone.

It dawned on her just how special Grove truly was to her, he wasn't just her child...

He was also Firey's.

He was their child, he was their love for eachother.

Leafy knew that Firey would have done his best to be an amazing dad, just like her, he would stay up and soothe Grove to sleep.

He would love Grove as much as she did.

It hurt that Firey never got to meet him, it hurt that Grove would never get to feel his father's warmth but she had the memories and she had the stories.

She would tell him, when he was a little bit older she would tell him, she would tell him how they had always loved eachother in some way, how they had always been by eachother's side and how she would always love him.

She would tell him how much he meant to her and she would make certain that Grove would know how much Firey loved him despite no longer being there.

The idea that Firey would never meet Grove saddened her but the fact that his love could still reach him gave her some comfort.

She was in the bed she had once shared with Firey, laying in the dark with their son in her arms.

Leafy had no idea she could ever feel so lonely yet so needed at the same time.