Christian Girl Writes ( Christian Advice)

Anger

I've concluded that anger is like a disease, no matter how hard you try to run away from it, it will still infect you and you can spread it to others. However, you can recover from it and the way you recover from it can either be good or bad.

There are many ways anger comes to us, for example, it can be because of what someone has said or done to us or somebody else, work, school, life, etc. I am not writing on how to get rid of anger, because that's impossible,  unfortunately, anger is a disease that will never go away but on the bright side, its symptoms are short-term.
It is important to remember that we are human beings and that it is normal for us to get angry, and we shouldn't get mad at ourselves for being angry, I tried many times to not get angry and that just got me more angry because I was mad at the fact that I got angry, you see how stupid that sounds, it’s like me getting angry at myself because I got older, when growing old is part of human nature and so is anger.

Bottling up anger is unhealthy and it will one day explode in the wrong way, sometimes shutting down from an argument or keeping things to yourselves causes unnecessary friction between relationships. Finding healthy ways to release anger is vital and I have listed a few ways you can release it, for example listening to music, going for a walk, doing something you enjoy or just letting out a scream when no one else is there and the list can go on.
Pray when you are angry, I know when you are angry prayer is one of the last things we think about, however, prayer is communication with God and if God sees your struggling with anger he will help you in unexpected ways.

Faith without works is dead you can't expect  God to stop you from feeling angry but do nothing to cure it, it is like how many people believe a pastor's prayer would heal them but then they wonder why they are still sick or getting worse because they didn't take any medication or treatment to heal their problem.

It is important to take note that we shouldn't speak too much to God but hear little of him. The more you draw closer to God the more he will draw closer to you. Relationships on earth wouldn't work out if they were one-sided the same principle applies to God, so lean closer to him.

Lack of communication in relationships can cause unknown anger to build up. For example, in relationships if the girlfriend gets upset because of something that the boyfriend did but the boyfriend is unaware of that, he is going to think that everything is okay, and because of what the boyfriend did that upset or irritated the girlfriend the girlfriend, might decide to not doing something she usually does for her boyfriend to irritate him or her in defence to get back at him, the boyfriend might get angry and do more stuff to anger the girlfriend, but as time goes by they are both adding more charcoal to a fire, then one day the fire explodes and there is a big fight between the two and some hurtful words are exchanged, but the fight could have been avoided if the girlfriend didn't bottle up her anger and tell the boyfriend how she felt the first time he angered her.

My point is by that example, we can learn that sometimes letting anger out the first time something occurs is good as it can prevent worse events from happening in the future.

However, the way you express and let out your anger is important because that can impact the outcome of somebody else’s reaction and it can lead to a healthy debate or a heated argument.

Remember you cannot control somebody else’s reaction, but you have control over yours.Also if you are someone who just brushes things off  remember to let people know that you have boundaries and to respect you,you are human and have feelings.

I have realised in different relationships the way you communicate with someone to avoid friction building up, is different depending on the person and how you feel at the time someone irritated you.

For some people, you can tell them straight away that they hurt you, while for others you might have to bring it up a day after, some people are observant and can tell by your facial expressions or body language that they hurt you and would apologise, and some are oblivious.

However, if someone doesn’t see anything wrong in hurting you and refuses to apologise or they apologise and continue hurting you, RUN from that person whether it's literally or not because someone who genuinely loves you would try their best to not hurt you again.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship as no one is perfect in this world, however, God's word is there to guide us to become better people and through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Human relationships are like flowers because if you don't eliminate the bad stuff from the beginning of the relationship, the relationship will never prosper, the same with flowers if you don't take out the bad stuff like weeds the flower will never blossom.

Humans are sinners and sin is in our nature which is why human relationships will never be perfect, so we need to constantly  feed ourselves with the word of God and apologise when we have done something wrong even if the sin we did was a while ago and the person you hurt forgot or might just brush off your apology, but the fact you apologised can plant a seed in someone's heart to be humble and they can go on to apologise to someone they hurt a while ago and that could heal the relationship they had with that person or it can change the way that person viewed them and the cycle repeats as that person they apologised to might go on to do the same.

There are  times when we have committed omissions accidentally and we would not be able to ever apologise to that person,but don't get angry at yourself for that,ask God for forgiveness and move on with your life.

Healthy Christian marriages and relationships that last long are because they have gone through a pruning season together which requires patience,understanding,endurance,respect and the list can go on, but on top of that having God in the centre of their relationship.

If God is in the centre, everything else will follow and their marriage will glorify God. Also, it is important to take note that longevity doesn't equal healthy relationships.

Finally, try your best to avoid quarrelling, however, if speaking the truth to someone gets them angry for example telling someone the word of God, then so be it, that's their problem, not yours.

The Christian journey is hard and God doesn't expect us to be perfect hence why he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for us, but we should try our best to sin less, I'm not saying to be perfect, but when you have an emotional outburst or sin, learn how to snatch yourself back, repent and lean to God, he is your heavenly Father and will always love you which includes him disciplining you. 

It is written in Hebrews 12:9-11 (ESV) "Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” The discipline from God is for our good and to equip us to be better children of God.

If you are a true believer of God there should be a change in your life, it is written in 1 John 3.6(ESV) that "No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him."  God expects there to be a change in your life if he calls you his child, so do not take advantage of God's grace and continue to be God’s light in a world full of darkness.