Cage of bones

13.

Izuna

I didn't call or text Tobirama.

He didn't call or text me.

I continued my relationship with Henry. My guess was, Tobirama continued his relationship with Oliver.

"He's waiting for you." It was midnight. We were lying in bed, on our backs, holding hands while looking up into the ceiling, imagining the stars and the universe beyond it. "He's waiting for you to come to him. For being able to handle how closely he works with Martin's body."

I shivered at his wording.

"But he doesn't work on that case anymore", I said. "So why doesn't he come to me?"

"Because you left him", Henry said.

I turned to Henry, grabbed his face between my hands.

"If I was a decent man, I would leave you because I know you deserve better", I told him.

"Don't play the martyr, Izuna."

"I don't!" I burst out.

But his smile and the way he kissed my hand let me know he was only messing with me.

"I'm a grown man. I am entirely aware of the situation. If I didn't accept it, I could just leave."

I kissed his face.

I had gotten the main role for the Christmas show. I hadn't been able to enjoy it one bit. I had done my training like I was supposed to, working as hard as they paid me to work, which wasn't much, by the way. Henry had been a great support system, his couch and embrace a good place to rest after full days of rehearsals. It was during one of those nights he told me he had stayed in touch with Oliver.

"Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is", I said, meaning it.

I did feel slightly jealous, but also relief. And I knew that relief was because it would take some of the guilt away once I left Henry for Tobirama.

"Do you... Think he likes me?"

"Oh, Henry", I said and kissed him. "Don't be so fucking dumb."

The stage was all set up for Christmas. Lovely real Christmas trees sprinkled with fake snow and had been covered in silver baubles. The usual red curtains exchanged for midnight blue ones covered in glitter. The lamps along the walls had been exchanged for realistic fake torches.

And there I was, backstage, having a mental breakdown.

"It's okay", Henry said. "Izuna, you really don't have to do this. We have a back-up."

"Just..." I panted. "Just give me a few."

But I needed more than a few. Tears were streaming down my face, ruining the makeup to such a degree it would have to be re-applied. I only had fifteen minutes before I had to be on stage.

I really, really wanted to do this. It was one of few ballet shows where the two main roles were held by men, and I was supposed to do it with Henry by my side.

"I can't do this", I wheezed.

"Then talk to me", Henry said. He stood up, went to fetch a tissue and started dabbing my eyes with it. "Tell me what's wrong."