Fictober 2023

Prompt 4

Usually, if a Lantern had to choose between simply existing around Guy Gardner and getting a full lecture from the Guardians, an overwhelming amount would choose the Guardians. While both were stubborn and always believed themselves to be right, there was one key difference: The Guardians would, on occasion, admit to being wrong. Guy...did not.

"Guy, for the last time, you can't dig straight down like that!" For the better part of an hour, Kyle and Guy had been screwing around on Minecraft in the former's barracks; the whole thing, which was supposed to just be a fun hangout, had become nothing short of infuriating as Guy dug himself into yet another lava pit and lost several valuable resources to the flames.

Kyle had given up explaining the rules of the game to him, choosing to instead throw himself at the challenge of an epic mountain base while Guy busied himself with running from spawn to Kyle, and then finding new ways to die and repeating the cycle all over again. The only reason he'd had so much stuff to lose this time was because he'd fallen into a water-filled ravine while bounding around the Plains biome.

"All the good shit is underground, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Gee, I dunno, how about taking five extra minutes to dig a staircase? It'd keep you alive longer, at least ." He sunk further into his construct beanbag, pointedly refusing to look over at the other Lantern.

"How's that any better?"

"Because..." Kyle grit out, jamming a spruce block into place harder than necessary. "If you dig into lava, you can at least run away from it!"

"Running's for little bitches." Guy scoffed, ignoring the fact that he was actively running his way back to their base. Again.

"You must be the biggest little bitch of all then."

"Fuck you! I figured you'd know enough about this stupid game that the spawn point doesn't move, so why'd you-"

"It does, actually, and it's literally the easiest thing ever. Just make a bed." How Kyle's controller hadn't crumpled under the frustrated grip he had on it was probably the biggest mystery on Oa besides the alleged Cloud Sharks. Guy simply stared at him, managing to look exactly like a dumbfounded bulldog.

"That's not how beds work."

"Yeah, well, you're playing a game where water always saves you and creepers exist, so forgive the unrealism and make the damn bed."

"Jesus, fine." Guy huffed.

The two shut up for a while after that, Kyle focused on the base and Guy murdering every sheep he saw from spawn —he had jumped off a too tall tree— to the mountain range, where he immediately left a floating tree in full view of the front door.

"Guy, what the hell?"

"What?" He asked, popping up at the top of their water elevator —which Guy had also died in during its testing stages— and trotting over to the crafting table.

"Fix the damn tree."

"I thought we were 'forgiving the unrealism.'" He grumbled, scrolling around the crafting inventory. " Where the hell is this stupid thing? "

"That's not unrealism, that's just an atrocity." Kyle grumbled back as Guy hopped past his screen, going up to the newly dug second floor.

"Then you fix it, I'm busy figuring out a place to put the other stupid thing you're making me do." Like he was proving a point, he waved the bed in front of Kyle's face, almost punching out the glass block below him.

"Just put it wherever, I don't care. Things are gonna get moved around once the base is done anyways."

"Fine." He turned around, walked a few blocks, and then proceeded to place his bed right next to Kyle's. "There, the room's now even, you Fuckin' perfectionist."

Kyle was struck so dumb by the collective force of five years of internet memes that his beanbag disappeared out from under him in a puff of light, and he was only able to force out a weak: "Do you even know what that means?"

"Oh my god, you dramatic little shit, what is it?" Guy snapped irritably, pinching the bridge of his crooked nose. "What horrible crime have I committed now?"

"It's...not a crime, it's just, uh...the Minecraft equivalent of dating or asking someone to date."

"Nope, that's it, I'm done." Guy stood and chucked his controller on the couch, making his character wig out when it landed facedown. "This game is horrible, and I hate you for making me play it. Find someone else for your weird dating sim shit."

He stormed out and slammed the door before Kyle could say anything else, leaving the man gaping after him like a fish.