"People always stated that death can come naturally or unnaturally. If I remember correctly, one of the neighbors in my hometown died of a heart attack all of a sudden on a winter night, will that be a natural death? Or the coldness that crept in from his window killed him?"
The male taps his fingers on the side table, waiting for an answer from the doctor who was patiently waiting to hear more of this patient's story.
"It will be absurd if you say, people live a happy life before dying in their loved one's arms. No, no. People suffer, they suffer from a lot of things before dying in their lover's arms. Many officers are connected with the death. There's a limit where people can tolerate their emotions before drowning themselves in the ocean called ' depression '. This ocean claimed a lot of lives than any heart attack did."
The male folds his legs and wraps his arms around his legs, making them stop from shaking.
"I always wanted to die, but a peaceful death where you can die while sleeping. But people say that that kind of death can be granted if you do any good deeds in your life. My whole life was bad, so I wasn't cut for that death. So, I choose pain. Pain is a trusted, loyal companion. It never betrays and always hits you as you imagined." He looks up, glancing at at doctor who stares at him, worried.
"People call ' Home ' is a safe place for any child. They say that 'home' is where you feel happy...but not for me ..." He goes silent, not speaking a word. The doctor shifts in her seat and adjusts her notebook on her lap.
"Why isn't it like for you? Do you not like your home?" The male snaps at the doctor who just speaks, he mumbles something to himself before bringing out a smile.
"I never considered that place as my 'Home'." The doctor leans closer, looking at the male who had a smuggy smile on his face, like that kind of smile when you know that the person in front of you is losing his sanity.
"Why?" The male raises his eyebrows.
"Why you ask? Because I had a bad childhood. I was ignored, unimportant. Always the cause of every bad luck. I was the burden of the parents who never wanted me. My existence was unnecessary. I was a tool in their cabinet. A tool that can be used when needed and after use, they throw it into the cabinet like it never existed."
The male leans back in his bed, head leaning on the wall as he stares at the ceiling. He turns to the side like another person is sitting next to them and lets them talk instead of continuing their story.
"My parents were proud of their son, my older brother. They appreciated his every achievement but never looked at mine. Never told me that they were proud of me. Very toxic, don't you think?" He scrunches his nose in disgust. The doctor was confused because it seems like a different story now.
"They love him because they made him out of love while I was forced upon them. They weren't ready or needed another child since they were already in need of financial issues but they tried and came with me which was a loss project."
He sighs, eyes shaking, tears gathered around, threatening to fall but he sniffs it up and holds a smile.
"I was a tool, which was sitting in a cabinet, rusting. The water was leaking in the cabinet, it touched the metal and it started to rust, every day, little by little until it flooded. The tool drowned in that dark liquid, impossible to breathe in. Start to rust more as it drowns more, every day, little by little until it is left with nothing." He wipes his eyes before slightly turning towards the doctor.
"I never had the guts to push a syringe, filled with lithium or cut the veins in my wrist or to drown myself in depression...because I was trying to live for once when...I held hope."
"Hope? You held hope?" The doctor repeated his lines as he looked at the doctor.
"Yes, hope. As a human or I thought so...I don't know what it was."
---
The doctor held her head in her hands as she was waiting for someone at the cafeteria, the steam of the coffee dances in front of her as she groans.
"Dr.Han." She lifted her head to greet the one she was waiting for. The boy looks young and very muscular than what she thought.
"Mr.Jeon, how have you been?" She asks as the boy sits across her, worries in his eyes as he taps the table.
"Horrible, with hyung being like this ..is just horrible." The boy looks very worried for the patient.
"I have been informed that you are a friend of his, correct?" The boy nods.
"Did he have any symptoms of mental illness when he was with you?" The doctor asks as she looks through her notebook again.
"No...well, I mean he used to talk to someone who I don't know...or I haven't seen that person .." The boy answers.
"A person? He used to talk with someone?" The boy nods when the doctor finishes her question.
"Has he ever mentioned this person's name?" The boy looks confused, he tries his best to remember the name. The doctor leans back when she saw it was hopeless.
"It's fine. Thank you for coming. I'll keep you updated if anything new occurs to me." She says as she gets up, bowing to the guest. Before she could take any step further, she halted in her tracks, she looked back at the guest who spoke a name a few seconds ago.
"What did you say.."
"He told me that Jimin talks to me." The doctor drops her notebook as she stumbles back.
She looks at her notebook, A few pages have been exposed to her, revealing a few pictures of a boy with a bright smile.
"Dr.Han? Dr.Han?" She ignores the guest as she bends down to grab the picture and stares at it for a while.
"Are are you okay?" The boy asked, worried about the doctor who seemed to be lost in her thoughts.
"Y-Yes ... I'm fine.." She mumbled before grabbing her notebook and running off, she ran to her cabin and locked the door. A hand covers her mouth as she lifts the picture of the boy with a bright smile.
"How ...how can this be..." Her eyes were shaking in fear as she examined the picture.
Bright brown eyes, that hold hope and the sun, beautiful face with a small button-like nose, messy yet neatly styled brown hair, blush on those bony cheeks, adorable features. But something was broken that the photo couldn't catch but the photographer knows.
"How can this happen....you.." she caresses the pictures as her tears gather in her eyes.
"How can this..." She hugs the picture before sobbing. Her cries slowly turn loud as she sobs loudly.
"How can this happen....you...you..." Her eyes were still staring at the picture, a boy with hopeful eyes and a bright smile.
' You died... '
---
That's all for chapter 1! How did you like it? Tell me all about it, okay?!
Thank you for reading!
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✓ With You • [ Yoonmin ]
Fanfiction"People always stated that death can come naturally or unnaturally. If I remember correctly, one of the neighbors in my hometown died of a heart attack all of a sudden on a winter night, will that be a natural death? Or the coldness that crept in fr...