Fame and Fortune

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Han laughed at Luke's joke. It felt strangely good to have someone you could talk with about ... before. That's how he'd come to think of his two, totally different lives. Before he 'died' he was Han Solo. After the transfer he woke up as Evin Daysun, with nothing left the same as before. Han knew that was how Leia had always defined her life. Before the Death Star destroyed Alderaan, and after, when everyone and everything she knew was wiped out. Although his friends were still alive, he thought he finally understood the Princess. It was a dividing line in your existence, and nothing you could do would ever erase the demarcation point.

"'Sides," Han said in affable agreement. "Whatever the reason, it's why I'm still suckin' air and not fried up with my ship." He glared at Luke with that last comment. "And what the hell was Chewie thinking, anyway? It was my ship, for Sith's sake! If he wanted to remember me, then why didn't he keep it? Or maybe that was it... he wanted to forget all about me, and keeping the Falcon woulda been a reminder."

"Seriously, Han? You honestly think Chewie used the Falcon as your final send off so he could forget you?" Luke shook his head, anger setting in. "Chewie was devastated. He couldn't say your name without letting out a heart-rendering howl of grief for over a year. And, just so you know, I was pretty damn devastated, too. You think you've been some martyr for hiding out for three years? Well, let me tell you that's not true. You've been selfish and self-centered."

Han was taken aback by Luke's outburst. "You always thought I was selfish and self-centered anyway, so I was just keeping up with your low expectations of me," he snarled defensively. "Maybe you should just leave, and forget about coming to Corellia, too. Why'd you want to visit a selfish low-life like me, anyway?"

"I never used the word 'low-life,'" Luke muttered. "I thought you'd changed after you joined the Rebellion, then stayed around after we won the war."

"I changed until I found out I was dying," Han said softly, casting his eyes to the floor. "And Leia left me. Those kind of events have a tendency to dim your outlook on life."

Luke's shoulder's slumped a bit. "What Leia did to you was wrong. She wishes she could go back and do it all over again, and stay with you until the end."

The Corellian looked up. "But if she'd have stayed with me, I'd be dead. I mean... really dead, not just sorta dead." That was the conundrum Han had lived with for the past three years... alternating between feeling hurt and betrayal over Leia leaving him so abruptly for a handsome prince, and awareness that if she'd stayed by his side until the end he would never have been on Corellia during his last days, and never have been kidnapped by Doctor Nik and given a second chance at life.

His comment wasn't meant to be funny, but for some reason it struck Luke as just that. He laughed, trying to ignore the shocked expression on Han's new face. "You're right. You are... alive because of the events that happened. There is a reason you're still alive, Han." Luke looked at his friend with his earnest eyes. "Will you let me train you as a Jedi?"

"What? No... no way. Sorry, ain't happenin', kid."

The young Jedi let out a hiss of frustration. "Why?"

The Corellian frowned. "'Cuz I don't want to?"

"When are you going to get over your resistance to believing in the Force? How can you not believe, now that you can feel it?"

"One," Han held up one finger as he started out, grinding his jaw at Luke's questioning. "Resistance has nothing to do with it. And two," he held up two fingers, "What makes you think I can feel this... it you're talkin' about? Why can't you accept that some beings just ain't cut out to be Jedi Knights, or whatever, just 'cuz they have something deformed in their blood."