Faasla

Twelve

On the cold benches in a barely lit corridor, I spent the next three days of my life, springing up to my feet each time a nurse rushed out of the ICU.

Things were a lot more complicated than I thought; he had overdosed on one of the strongest antidepressants, and forget about recovery, his vital signs were unstable throughout. Nurses and doctors rushed in and out of the ICU the whole time, and every time I heard a beep, my heart would skip a thousand beats in fear.

What I lived through was worse than a nightmare. Since the city was still under a lockdown and that guidelines had to be followed, no matter what, I was Darshan's official guardian. Not his mom, nor his dad or his assistant who stuck around him the whole time. It was me - a woman bound to him by a bunch of legal papers, but didn't know anything about him.

I was being drilled with questions I didn't have answers for, and embarrassment wasn't even the right words for how I felt. It was beyond shameful and insulting.

"How long has he had asthma for?".
"I don't know".

"Is he under antidepressants?".

I stared at the doctor in disbelief. I didn't know that he was under medication, in the first place.

"Was he seeing a psychologist, or psychiatrist?".

"Yes, I think he was. But I don't know if it was a therapist or a psychologist", I breathe.

"What's her name? We'll contact her".

I didn't know who she was.

"You're his wife, right?", the doctor throws a rather judgemental look at me and I look down at my hands.

"He has overdosed on TCA; it's not a drug you can buy from the pharmacy without a prescription, so my best guess is that he has been taking them for a while now. Overdosing on such strong drugs are fatal. I cannot give you a word as of now. He'll be under observation until his vitals are stable, and then we'll see", the doctor shrugs and walks away, stranding me behind with mixed emotions of anxiety, fear and sorrow.

I spent the next two hours Google-searching about the drug he overdosed on, and as my scrolled through the web-pages, my heart pounded in my chest. The outcome could literally be anything; from heart problems to coma, and I wonder on which end of the spectrum he'd fall, considering how paranoid the doctors are. What were you thinking, Darshan Raval? Why are you the unsolved puzzle that you are?

Just when i thought that things couldn't get worse, I received an incoming call on Darshan's phone, and it was plainly named - Lawyer. Taking a sharp breath in, I answer the call and hold the phone against my ear in silence.

"Darshan Sir, I'm sorry but I'm dropping the case. I cannot fight this case for you", I don't even know who this man is, but he straight out utters. "Why wouldn't you take the case?", I question; for the first time ever since his hospitalisation, my voice didn't tremble or break. It was calm and low, and I---I was simply tired of dealing with everything that went down in his life.

"Who am I talking to?", the lawyer questions, suspiciously. "His wife. Navya Raval. Why are you dropping the case?", I repeat.

"I don't have the evidence to fight the case. Moreover, there's no way we can win the case. No matter what we produce in the court, we'll lose, and I don't want to lose a high profile case", he explains his side of the story, and I cut the call on him; what else do I do?

My stomach began grumbling, and when the feeling of nausea kicked in, I sprinted to the canteen and settled for a vegetable puff. The deafening silence in my life, and the sudden surge of loneliness in me digs out the memories of how I felt when Ma was taken to the mental asylum for the first time.