In The Past

01 - New Face

Author's Warning: Atrocious grammar ahead.

As he attempted to transform his memories into words, first by recalling them again, his mind told him it had started with the day he wrote a note. A love note to the girl he loved. Mary. The same Mary he had knocked out minutes before and now had locked in a jail cell that she could fit into in a sitting position.

But just as quickly, his mind corrected itself of his turbulent, complex relationship history with the Purger — one with roots tracing back to his university days as a timid, socially isolated, and inept 17-year-old in one-sided love for Mary. The love note affair was a mere culmination of it all and, subsequently, the worst decision of the young man's life.

Even now, Larry continued to think back on the event and what came after – what else he could have done to keep some semblance of the life he led before paying the price for his stubbornness in remaining close to a thorned, poisonous rose despite the blood that seeped from his hands, ignoring it, for he loved its beautiful red petals, no matter how much the thorns below hurt him.

How he could have looked at the blueprint and run for his life, realizing that it was not worth the risk of sacrificing his consciousness and humanity to stay in the garden to nurture something that could never return the same love, to become equal to the rose. All the same, it would never gaze upon him the way he did but relish in his love and care nevertheless.

How he could have just said no and asked: why him? Why not Barry? They were friends, were they not? Don't friends help each other whenever they can? But knowing himself better than anyone else, he knew he would never have the guts to refuse the girl of his dreams.

He was never great at rejecting his classmates when they half-fulfilled his longing to hear any kind words from any soul (regardless of their intentions) by "asking him for a favor" with words sweeter than sugar, whether it was doing their homework or lending them money. How could he turn away the one he loved the most? He couldn't.

Neither could he turn back the time, no matter how much Larry pleaded on his hands and knees to have a chance to fix his past mistakes in loving Mary, a holy name for the most unworthy holder.

Pausing his thoughts, if only for a moment – Larry snapped out of his trance, staring back into your expecting eyes, awaiting a response from an elderly Larry, ultimately concluding it was best not to ponder in futility about bygone days from decades before – choosing instead to continue racking his brain for the true beginning of his history with the Purger who had taken over the position she had forced on him in the wake of his "defeat."

Right.