In Another Life

Chapter 1

            I awake to queasy harsh breathing and rapid heartbeats. 

            Alone.        

            Safe.

            I'm amidst reality yet again. The tensions in my body start to ripple off as I continue to inhale and exhale deeply. It's just a dream Zara, it's just a dream. Repeatedly I'd tell myself, but I never seem to believe the truth.

             With a grunt I jump off my bed and grab my phone from the side table.       

            4:00 am.

            The sun peers itself through the clouds showing off a fragment of its eyes, but the sky remains grey. Quickly I walk into my closet and change in to my running clothes - my favorite oversized Abercrombie hoodie, cycling shorts, and my reflecting hot pink sneakers. 

            I rush downstairs like a thief in my own home creeping through the corridors and steps silently. I say a quick prayer wishing everyone is to stay asleep. I reach the bottom of our glass staircase and quietly find my way towards our front door. Holding the knob; I twist and push it open.

            A cold breeze greets me as I stand outside, my bare legs growing goose bumps from the chill. I should change into something that covers my whole legs, but before I could even choose on whether or not I should go back up I find myself already on the sidewalk carried by my eager feet.

            Then I run.

            My pace starts at an average speed, dashing through 4 blocks a minute, then 6, then 10, till all the houses seem like blurred pictures that don't seem to puzzle quite correctly. I am amidst trying to forget, trying to let go of a burden that cultivates deep inside of me.

            And I don't know why.

            You couldn't have saved them. They're not even real to begin with.

            I take a left turn by the end of our street and meet a downhill. There's no one around but the glittering cement I am upon, making the place seem more alive.

            I amp up my speed, though I'm already running out of breath and is on the verge of giving up. My whole body tingles with an excruciating pain urging me to stop, but I don't - it's not enough, it’s never enough.

            I run till I cry, till my legs betray me, till I fall on the cold pavement, heart hammering against my chest. I will myself to get up but I don't, I can’t. I thought for a moment that I must be paralyzed, and I'm stuck to lie here forever.

            But that thought quickly fades when I am carried by what feels like the sea - smooth, liquid & careful.

            My eyes are shut and so is half of my mind so I’m not quite sure what’s going on, all I could depict from this moment is that I’m resting my head upon someone's lap. Soft fingers leaving sensational trails up and down my arm.

            Before I drown into a deep fatigue caused slumber I hear this person hum the most achingly familiar tune. It makes my stomach do summersaults and the tears I've been crying since I fell double. The stranger then wipes the tears away, saying: "God you're a mess," I hear a deep whispered laugh and can almost see his sincere smile through my closed eye lids. His fingers have wavered to my hair, playing with it so incredibly lightly. "Now I know I’m not the only one." He says.         

            I feel my heart crumble.

            Then everything fades to black.