Chapter 26: Dreamscapes, Memories and Nightmares (pt 1)

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Many years ago ...

Cautiously, Severus Snape made his way down the dark passageway, his Lumos spell the only dim source of light. A part of him still thought this was a bad idea, that Black had only given him the secret to bypassing the Whomping Willow so that he and his fellow miscreants could trap him with a sneak attack and do .... Well, he wasn't entirely sure what they could do that was worse than stripping him in the Courtyard in front of dozens of classmates. Then again, the Head Boy had intervened before he could be completely denuded. Perhaps their plan now was to complete the job – capture him (four-on-one like the cowards they were) and send him running back to the Slytherin dorms like a Muggle streaker.

Still, this was his best chance to catch the accursed Marauders in something so blatantly illegal that Dumbledore would have no choice but to expel or at least suspend them. Perhaps with them out of the way, Lily might ....

"No," he thought grimly. "She will never forgive me."

Still, if he could ruin Potter somehow, at least he could be spared the final indignity of watching Lily Evans date the wretched swine. He had no idea how Potter could have finally worn Lily down into going out with him – he suspected potions – but if the rumors were true, the two would be going to Hogsmeade together in a week's time. Admittedly, it was quite petty for Snape to go to such lengths to keep Lily and Potter apart. But despite Lily's rejection of him, Snape simply could not bear the thought of her throwing her future away for a reprobate who would most likely steal her virginity in a squalid broom cupboard ... along with her underwear (which according to some rumors, he collected from all his conquests).

Finally, in the dim light of his Lumos, Snape could see a doorway twenty feet up ahead. He moved towards it carefully until, to his surprise, he heard a voice calling out to him from behind. A hated voice he recognized at once.

"SNAPE!" yelled James Potter in an urgent and possibly terrified voice. "COME BACK! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

The Slytherin sneered. If Potter was here and insistent that he not proceed, then obviously, this wasn't a Marauder trap after all. He quickly darted ahead to the door, heedless of the panicked voice of James Potter who was sprinting up the passageway behind him.

"SNAPE! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, STOP!!"

The Marauder was close behind, but not close enough. Snape grasped the handle of the door and pushed with all his might. The door flew open, and inside ....

GREY FUR
SHARP TEETH
YELLOW EYES
HUGE CLAWS
HUNGRY, SO HUNGRY
AND SO FULL OF RAGE
MAD HOWLING
CHARGING TOWARDS ME
PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO DIE!

Now ...

With a loud gasp, Snape shot up in bed. He sat there for several minutes as his heart rate and breathing slowed to normal. Then, he wiped the sweat from his brow and pulled himself out of bed, muttering curses as he did. It had been years since he'd had the nightmares. Indeed, he thought he'd finally gotten past them. But it seemed that merely hearing the details of a werewolf attack on nearby Hogsmeade had been enough to trigger them once more. A Muggle doctor would have described his condition as PTSD, but among wizarding healers, this specific night terror was known as wolf-fear. It was a well-documented aftereffect of surviving a werewolf attack without infection, as the supernatural fear induced by the beast lingered for years or decades. Only Animagi and fourth-tier Occlumens were immune. Had his own Occlumency been stronger back then, he might have resisted and been able to defend himself instead of curling up into a ball and relying on Potter – fucking Potter! – to save him. Instead, the wolf-fear dug its claws in deep within Snape's psyche, and it seemed no amount of psychic mastery could dislodge them for good.

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