Thirty

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"What's up?" Ainsley asked As xander appeared down for breakfast a lot earlier than expected.

"I couldn't get through." Xander sat down next to the captain at the table with the team. They didn't feel like eating. "It didn't even ring."

"Weird." Ainsley's response wasn't helpful. She realized this quickly and added, "maybe her phone's broke."

The dread had started to build overnight, Casey had not responded to any messages after their call yesterday and no matter how much the rational brain was trying to talk to them. The ball of fear had started to form in the pit of their stomach making them feel sick with worry.

They hadn't considered the phone being broken. They had worried that maybe the blonde was really ill but thought that she would have asked someone to reach out. Yeah maybe the phone that would make sense. They felt the dread lift and stood up to go see what was on the breakfast buffet. Something light was needed. They had a training session this morning and a game tonight. The US scouts were attending which was all the team could speak about over their scrambled eggs.

——

Casey lay in her bed in her old room at home. She was still crying. It had been the worst 24 hours of her lift. She thought about Xander and what they must be thinking. How hurt they were going to be.  She thought about Xander and how she'd see them again, she was broken.

Her Dad had told her that although now she was never going to be a lawyer she wasn't going to completely disgrace the family and that Hunter had agreed to marry her. They were to get wed in the next few weeks. Before it became obvious.

He'd set them up and keep them financially stable until Hunter could get a good job to look after them.

She wanted none of it. She'd cried to her mom all afternoon about the unfairness and how her mom had even said that she should be with Xander because they were soulmates. Her mom was softer but she had no control here. It was her father that was running the show.

She lay in silence and stared at the ceiling for a moment while she became to tired to cry. She thought about waking up with Xander in this bed and how she knew then for certain what she felt. But was too scared, she wished she had because at that point there was no baby. Now she was going to be forced to marry a guy she didn't love, and have a child that she didn't want.

Maybe Xander would understand in time. She'd ruined her own life she hated thinking that she was also destroying theirs. The soccer team would be home in two days. She pictured xander wondering why she wasn't there to see the team bus back. She pictured Xander returning to an empty apartment and realizing she was gone. The grief engulfed her and the tears started again.

——

"So we'd like you to attend our next training session." Lauren Sanderson said. She and Tony Weston were the scouts for the US team.

Rose, Ainsley and Xander couldn't believe what they were hearing but they smiled like children on Christmas morning.

The scouts shook their hands and walked away. The three couldn't wait to go and share the news with the team coach who already figured out what had happened. The four all jumped up and down with delight. As they got back on the bus for the last night in the hotel. Xander pulled her call from her pocket.

Me: I got picked to go train with USWNT. This is really happening. I can't wait to see you i'm missing you so much. I hope your okay. I'm guessing the phone might be broken. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow night xxx

They also sent a message to their mom who messaged back almost instantly to tell them how proud they were.

The team were all joyful on the bus, there wasn't jealousy just celebration of the people asked and the medals around their necks as they sent a booze filled cup around the bus. They were singing and and laughing. Xander looked out of the window. As she heard buzzes and pings from the team's cell phones of loved ones getting in touch to share their achievement and celebration. The dread started again. They clenched their jaw and tried not to think about it. They had now heard nothing from Casey in close to four days.

"Hey" Ainsley said beside them as she rested her head on her friend's shoulder. "She'll be fine."

"I know I promised her not to get into my head again after all the rubbish at New Year but I can't help it. What if she's changed her mind, I just can't stop thinking that..."

"Xan there will be a perfectly reasonable explanation for it all. She'll be waiting." The redhead reassured.

But as the team bus pulled into campus the following night. She wasn't waiting. Xander looked around as fans and partners welcomed the team off the bus. They watched as Ashley wrapped herself around Ainsley and Rose was swept off her feet from her boyfriend. They looked about; their person wasn't there.

The dread exploded and there was something definitely wrong. They felt the anxiety and panic ebb through their body as they lifted their bag from the bus and decided to leave the joy filled scene behind them. As they walked the played through all of the different ways Casey was going to tell them that they were through. The tears streamed from their eyes while a small tiny part of their brain tried and failed to convince them that it was okay. That there was still a reason.

They wiped the tears from their face, sighed and tried to open the door. It was locked. Maybe she was just late for the bus, they hoped, as they located their key from the front of the bag.

They opened the door and the apartment didn't feel right. They set off instantly to the blonde's room. Empty, cleared of everything.with a punch to the soul the brunette's world shattered as they sat on the bare mattress, covered their face and cried.

"Xan!" Ainsley shouted. As her and Ashley entered the flat. She followed the sound of the sobs and found her friend curled in a ball cuddling a pillow.

"I wasn't even worth a goodbye."

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