Moments in Time

lies breed lies

When Ates gets back, the house is quiet. He goes to his room, but hesitates at the door. He can't see Feraye. He can't look her in the eye, see her pain, and not soften towards her. So instead of entering, he puts his coat back on and walks back out. It's cold out, but even though he knows he should go in the car, he walks. He needs to clear his head.

He ends up in the park, sitting on a bench and staring straight ahead, looking but not really seeing anything. He's there for a few minutes when a small hand catches his and tugs at it. He looks down at the little girl standing beside him, and can't help but smile. "Abi, can you help me?"

His heart squeezes in his chest at her innocence. "Sure, sweetheart, what do you need?" he asks as he gets up. He has to bend down awkwardly as she drags him to the swings.

"My mom is tired, so she can't swing me, and Dila is a baby so she can't swing me either. Dad is-" he tunes her out as she continues her monologue, talking his ear off about her family, her pet and school. It gives him an excuse not to think about what had happened just a couple of hours ago.

It gives him peace. As shot lived as he knows it will be, he'll take it.
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Feraye

She's on the balcony when she sees Ateş walk out the house. To her surprise, he doesn't get in his car, and instead chooses to walk. She doesn't hesitate in running after him, only stopping to grab her phone on her way after him.

She catches up to him easily, since he's walking slowly, but she keeps her distance as to not let him know she's behind him. Her heart aches for him. She can see his shoulders are slumped and his back is hunched; it's like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He finally stops when he reaches the park, so she waits a couple of minutes before she enters too. She has to look around for a couple of seconds before she finds him, and when she does, she sits on the nearest bench and watches him from afar. His eyes are unfocused, his hair is tousled, and he looks like hell. They're there for about fifteen minutes when a little girl makes her way to him. Feraye finds herself smiling as the girl tugs at his hand, then he stands up. The little girl drags him off, and he has to basically bend in half to keep his hand in hers.

They walk over to the swings, and the little one chatters away at him. He has a small smile on his face, genuine but still a little sad around the edges. She finds herself walking over to them, heart beating frantically at what his reaction would be. He doesn't notice her until she's standing beside him. He startles, reels back, and his hand fall from the metal chains of the swing. "Feraye-?"

"Ateş abi," the girl whines, "you stopped swinging me."

His shaky hands start swinging her back and forth, and he refuses to look at her.

"How long are you going to punish me for, Ateş?"

He laughs, a bitter, frail, little thing. "You think this is me punishing you, Feraye?"

"Isn't it?"

"No," he says forcefully, "this is me protecting myself."

Her heart shatters. "From me?"

"From everyone, Feraye," he keeps his voice low, but it's full of venom. "From you, from my brothers, from my mother, from my grandfather."