It's been a bit, my bad, a lot has been happening.
The angerholder and caregiver fronted at the same time yesterday during an episode. It wasn't fun. They don't really have names yet. The CG wants us to figure it out instead of him just saying. And the AH just won't tell, and it seems like he doesnt even really WANT a name.
But it's whatever, we're managing.
The CG goes by He, mostly. And then the AH goes by Him.
And then we have Charlie and then we have Brian. Charlie doesn't really front or even make herself known, but she pops up every now and then. She was one of the firsts. I figured out about her YEARS ago, but I tried to fucking shove this shit down and make it disappear, cuz i didnt wanna worry about it or seem weird or fucked up, but it all resurfaced and i focused on shit and symptoms and now I have a better understanding of it all.
Brian and He front most. Mostly co-fronting though. Brian will front on his own from time to time and play off as me because we don't want to be judged. We don't tell anyone about this shit unless we trust them.
I told Sonny but he's Sonny, so of course it'll just be like... He'll hear it, and then that's the end of focusing on it. Lmao i sound like serenity. but i am NOTHING like her. She's probably a fucking Endo sys. Which is a system without trauma. Which personally? I dont believe in that shit.
But it's whatever, she isn't an issue to me anymore.
But we only want certain people to know. I was hesitant on telling Sonny bc I know how he is and I don't want to be viewed like anyone bad, even though I do fucking suck.
I honestly don't know why he hangs out with me so much or takes the time to message me. I fucking suck lmao, I'm not important
And if he thinks i am, im not sure why he would
I fucking suck
But it's whatever, I mean, I doubt I'll last much longer, so once I'm gone itll be fine
I'll be fine and so will everyone else.
it's 1:44 right now. im super nauseous. i wanna go home. im tired.
i wanna hang out with someone, but i dont know if sonny wants to come over, and i dont know if X wants me over.
That's all I really have lmao. I'm not going to my mom's until like Monday
1:55
i dont feel good im so nauseous
idk what happened i was fine for a bit and sufdenly im nausous and dizzy and tired
my body hurts
i dunno i. think it might be a switch or smthn idk i hope not cuz ive already fucked up enough at work today, i dont need a new employee basically.
brian knows a bit how to do stuff, and so does He, but Him and Charlie don't really know
4:35
No one fronted i dont think, idk what it was, but im fine and im home now
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My Life
RandomSorta like a diary. I'll write down dates and stuff and things I do through the day. In case anyone wants to read something like that :)
