Short Stories

A Chance to Fall (Romance)

Prompt 1: As the leaves start to fall, my thoughts drift to you. Memories of what might have been continually replay in my mind. Wherever you are, I hope you think of me, too.

I sit with my crocheting on the front porch. A cup of hot chocolate slowly cooling, sitting on the railing across from me. I watch the colors of the world. They're beautiful, the hues of reds, oranges, and yellows that paint the trees with fire, and make the entire world look a little lovelier. This is my first fall without you though, and it's not the same. But, I hope that you can see these beautiful colors too, and wish I was also there by your side to enjoy them. You used to love to write about the fall atmosphere, cozy stories by the fireplace as the days grew bitter. Walks all bundled up, walking downtown looking at the Christmas decorations, and lights that lit up the entire world. Maybe one day your cozy stories could have been published, us reading them together on the porch, or by the fire, snuggling with thick blankets and mugs of warm, sweet drinks.

You always loved fall football. You never were interested in sports except for it. You loved to see the players play, the plays made. You called it good "writing inspo" I still don't understand that. I don't see how your fantasy novels of mythical worlds, warm apple pies fresh from the oven, and beautiful mountainous regions could connect to football. I wish I never took your enthusiastic attitude for granted, but, I loved it with you. It was an annual fall festivity, cheering for our team, baking delicious treats to share in front of the television.

We used to love to walk around downtown. Searching for warm baked treats, sanctions from the cold. Looking for novels to snuggle up over, and novels that we could talk about for hours on end even after it was finished. Special, gooey apple and pumpkin baked goods, drinks, buried in every type of food. It was in the air at the time. You could feel it as the air got cold and crisp. It felt better for you in a way.

We used to love apple picking, then choosing out little prized pumpkins afterward. Going to orchards, how you would hold me around my waist, and hoist me up to reach the largest, sweetest looking apples at the top of the branches. Filling up our basket, and then smuggling even more out in our pockets. Going for warm cider and doughnuts afterwards, watching as the sun started to set, sitting on haybales in the farm. You would always buy me stupid little souvenirs, things that I said I didn't want, but always used, hung up by my bedside or on my bag. Now they're all in a drawer. I can't bring myself to throw them out, but the memories are too strong.

Around Halloween time, we used to think of the most intricate designs, and spend hours whittling them and carving them into our pumpkins, then proudly displaying them on the porch afterward for trick-or-treaters to come by and see. Carving the pumpkins guts out, roasting the seeds, and turning the mush into pumpkin puree. Baking pumpkin pie, lighting pumpkin spice candles. The scent of apples and pumpkins always drifting through the air, their essence always lingering around in the fall. Produce that could be snacked on, or combined with sugar and other ingredients to bake sweet, tart treats.

I realize now that the mountains are beautiful at this time. We never got to enjoy them together, and they're only a short hour away. The colors all blending together, and us singing together on the car ride there. We could tease each other about music choices, and take in the beautiful northern fall scenery. Stopping for hot drinks, bundling up together in the warmth of our car or the cabin afterwards. Staring up to space at twilight, slowly watching stars pop into existence, and how they would twinkle down on us, basking us in starlight.

We could have hiked up mountains, collected artifacts, and once at the top, stay there for hours, have a picnic, but just breathe in the crisp, mountain air, and feel like we were at the top of the world. We could watch the leaves make their slow spirals down the floor hundreds of feet below, and brave the harsh winds. Look out for miles underneath us, see the beautiful colors of other mountains reflecting our own. How you would hold me up, like that Titanic scene, and I could feel like flying. We should have taken the chance, never should have hesitated, never should have allowed it all to slip away.

I still think of you every day. Fall was both of our favorite seasons, and the feeling only became worse now that you're no longer with me for this fall. I know that there'll be another time that we can be together, another fall season we can experience, but who knows when the time will come again, and who knows if we'll ever see each other again? Everything that we experienced, everything that may come to be always plays through my mind, and even the slightest things will bring back memories, both good and bad. A pair of yellow socks, at the bottom of my dresser. A beautiful tree, poised, waiting for a set of eyes to land on it. A shiny white rock that got stuck in the sole of my boot. You're everywhere, but nowhere at once.

My nights are cold, and lonely. I cry myself to sleep, not knowing when I could have your presence next to mine again. The emotions are like none I have ever felt before. Huge waves of despair and grief wash onto my body, coming in like salty tidal waves at the beach. Sometimes, the bitter wind will come and nip at my exposed neck and face. You're not there to offer your scarf, or coat, not there to offer any sort of protection against the cold, bitter weather. If the days are cold, the nights are a freezing Hell. The despair seems to affect every root in my body, curling in tendrils up and down through every vein, touching every organ, and piercing my heart. I walk through my days like a zombie, never being able to fully comprehend what's going on without you at my side.

The only thing that keeps me going is your memory. How much you loved the fall season, and how upset you would be if you found out that I'm taking it this way. I could see it in your eyes as you woke on the first of September, as you knew that the fall season had come upon us. I could see you breathe fresh life into your veins, and point out everything that we could do as the time was upon us. Even though all the memories send little shots of ice into my body, sometimes, they can send little rays of sunshine through too. A sweet, tangy, honeycrisp apple that I bite into after buying it at the market. A pretty leaf, tinted with reds, oranges, yellows, fell onto my car. The warmth of the fireplace as I cuddle up with my novels, or the warm sweaters that I pull tight around me as the weather outside begins to cool.

Life is... different without you. I don't think I can ever move on from the loss. But, there's new opportunities, new chances for new experiences. Even though my life centered around you, it's time to move on. I know everyone around us was affected, but you wouldn't want us to be this sad. You loved the fall, you loved me, but it's all over now. Because of that cold winter night. It wasn't his fault, he didn't see where he was going, but at the bottom of my heart, I still shout his name, shouting for vengeance. I wish that you were still here. I wish that we could enjoy these new memories together. I wish for it all.

I don't know why I feel like this now. But, I think I'm finally moving on. I dreaded the fall this year, even though it's usually my favorite time of year. I knew the memories would be too much, but somehow, as October is slipping into November, I think the memories of everything we experienced are starting to heal my wounds. The old experiences, seeping back into me, are starting to heal the gaps that your presence left in me. I think it's finally time to change. Enjoying these new experiences, even if they aren't with you. Enjoying our favorite time of year. Enjoying everything that I've discovered, and looking upon old memories with happiness instead of sadness. The time we spent together was the best, and now, it's also the worst. But, one day, I will look upon them in happiness. I love the fall. It heals all wounds, new and old, contains all memories, new and old, and reminds me of you.

Winner of @Romance A Chance to Fall 2023