Love Ruins Everything (GL)

one: the thing about fate

Fate, Natasha decides, is a fucking bitch.

You see, she was supposed to be in a top government university with stellar job placements and vibrant student clubs where she could hone her skills and become the excellent member of society she was meant to be.

Instead the only college that accepted her was a money hungry private institute who's barrier to entry lay well below the Mariana Trench. The only questions on the application form was "have you graduated high school with thirty percent or above?" She had got a ninety percent, at which the web portal practically started salivating.

"YOU'RE ELIGIBLE FOR 50% SCHOLARSHIP!! HURRY UP!! ST. JOSEPHINE'S IS WAITING FOR YOU!!!"

She won't lie, the feeling of finally being wanted by a university, admittedly a crappy one, allegedly run by rich men who are banned from some European countries, is ashamedly, still of relief. Okay, maybe they didn't want her, only her daddy's sweet sweet money, but she knew she couldn't go through college entrance exams once again; she was done with that shit. So she applied to the university after 40 minutes of research and let her parents know. And by parents, she meant her mother, who then went to another room to inform Natasha's father.

Natasha and her father haven't been talking since her exams result came online and he told her in a very disappointed state, "you are not going to do anything with your life, I am sure of that."

Natasha has been doing a good job of blocking that statement out. She's not going to cry under the same roof as that man. Instead, she will wait until she arrives at the hostel which he paid for and only when she's alone and he has boarded the train back home will she let her tears run down.

There is a little problem though, which might be nothing at all, but she just got an email from her college hostel administration, filling her in with all the move-in details and at the end were scanned pages listing the students' names beside their allotted room number. The first year's hostel rooms were shared by two students, both in their first year. Since you will be away from home for the first time you might feel lonely, be in desperate need of a buddy, too shy to approach others, etc etc, but why the hell does the name listed beside hers leave such a bad taste in her mouth?

Shruti Singh.

She exits the email application and tosses her phone beside her on the bed.

Shruti is a super common name. Singh is a super, super common surname. A laugh escapes her mouth. She can't believe this made her think of that brat she used to know so, so long ago.

* * *

[ eight years ago ]

"Save me a seat for the art class! I have to get sand out of my shoes, but I will be there soon!" Shruti shouts to her friends who were heading back to the school building after their recess.

"Okay!" Mahi shouts back and waves to Shruti.

Natasha rolls her eyes and starts walking at a faster pace, trying to make her annoyance known.

Mahi turns back forward and jogs to her friend. "Natasha," she says, "save seats for Shruti and me. I have to go refill my water bottle."

"You shouldn't have shared your water with that girl, maybe then you wouldn't have run out of it," Natasha deadpans and Mahi looks at her with confusion. "I will only save a seat for you," Natasha says, looking away. She never hid her distaste for Shruti in front of Mahi, but Mahi has always been the one to ignore hints and subtlety.

"Natasha, please, just save one more seat." Mahi reaches out to hold her hand, and it stops Natasha in her tracks. Something about Mahi's touch these days has been crazy. Maybe it is the anger of letting a stranger intrude their friendship. Maybe it is the way Mahi's voice sounded so soft when asking for something.

Natasha doesn't know what she feels. She has no name for these mood swings Mahi has been causing almost everyday now. And Natasha absolutely hates confusion. "She's not my friend. She's your friend. I don't know why I have to tolerate her everyday now. I didn't ask for this nonsense." She spitballs in a fit of anger, the past few days of frustration and jealousy pouring out. Mahi is her best friend, and she doesn't like sharing.

Mahi looks at her with her eyes hurt and shining with tears. "Well, if you won't save her a seat, then don't save me one either," she sniffs and quickly wipes a single tear which has fallen involuntarily, "and don't shout at me again." With that she walks away towards the water coolers on the other end of the corridors.

Natasha looks at her with guilt. Of course, Mahi is a good person, she is just being nice by including someone like Shruti in their circle. I am being crazy, Natasha thinks as she turns to walk towards the class, no one can separate us. She is ready to apologize as soon as Mahi would walk into the class and saves one seat both to her left and right. Of course she is not going to let them sit together, and if that meant sitting directly beside Shruti, so be it.

Natasha's eyes are glued to the gate, waiting with a small smile for her best friend. That smile turns into a confused look and into a painful disgust in a matter of exactly three seconds as her eyes register Mahi walking in giggling and whispering with Shruti. She feels like someone stabbed her in the throat and her lungs suddenly can't inhale or exhale. She looks away from the horror and towards the assignment of the day scribbled on the blackboard: draw red roses in a flower vase.

As they both walk towards her, she is sharpening her red color pencil. They stop chatting for a second and Shruti lowers her face to meet Natasha's eyes, smiling wide, unaware of the heart breaking in front of her. "Can you move to the next seat? I want to sit here so I can be next to Mahi."

Natasha looks at her with blank eyes, and then mutters a small "yeah". She slides her things to the side and moves to the next seat. She doesn't dare look into Mahi's eyes. The awful pain in her throat keeps on growing and growing and growing. And if Mahi wanted to sit with her, she would have said something, right?

If she liked her more, she would have said something. Right?

* * *

[ present ]

Natasha's lips curl in a small smile as the memories of her old best friend fills her mind. She had realized much too later that she was infatuated with Mahi back in primary school. But Mahi had grown closer to Shruti, and unable to bear their closeness, Natasha had slowly cut herself off from their life.

While thoughts of Mahi were mostly remnant of bittersweet nostalgia, they were accompanied by thoughts of that shameless devil who had stolen Natasha's best friend.

She had spent many adolescent nights cursing and crying and wishing people named Shruti did not exist.

But that's all Shruti was to her, a memory of the distant past.

She hasn't seen anyone from her primary school ever since her father got transferred to a different state and she had to move away before sixth grade could even commence. She sometimes wonders if Mahi knew how she had felt for her. But how could she? Natasha was so unaware of her own feelings, no way anyone else could have known.

And sometimes she wonders if Shruti was aware of the way she ruined their friendship?

She bites the insides of her cheek. How could she be aware of that when I was the one who ruined things?

She sighs and rises up from her slumber. She's leaving for college in a few days and nothing's packed yet. She grabs her phone to make a list of things she has to get done today and stops and laughs when she remembers her roommate's name is what threw her down this memory lane.

There's just no way she could be the same Shruti. That would be so crazy.

Destiny, Natasha is about to find out, can really be so crazy.