The Only Rule

Drunks and Drivers

"Hey." Zack smiled, grabbing my waist and swiftly kissing me.

We're at a party Matthew threw, it's been a month since Zack and I reconnected. His hairs grown out , dirty blonde, and we're dating now. It's a weird feeling to have a boyfriend, like all my decisions aren't just mine anymore.
I pull down my dress, something Hannah begged me to wear. It's teal, and there's no straps, and it reaches the end of my thigh, the longest one she had. My hairs gotten a little longer, and I've been thinking about getting my layers refreshed. I look around at all the partying teens, and my phone dings. I check it happily.

Mom: Hey, won't be home tonight. Client is being impatient. Tell Rito to make dinner or something, might see you in the morning.

I sigh, my joy disappearing into thin air. "Everything okay?" Zack nudges me gently. I nod. "I just need air that isn't flavored." I say a little too dryly, and shove my way through the crowd. I get outside, and inhale as much as I can, until my chest aches. Not even an 'I love you'. I always have this feeling whispering in the back of my head that my mom doesn't like me because I look like my dad. I know she loves me, but I also know she doesn't like me. I squat onto the sidewalk, crossing my ankles over each other so my dress doesn't rise, and laying down flat. I stare up at the stars, pointing out the different shapes they make in my mind.

"You good?" Matthew says, leaning over me, his hair falls forward, and I can see a peak of his forehead. He has little acne, but he'd expressed how much he's hated it "Fine." I say, and close my eyes, hoping he'll run away. Instead, I feel warmth beside me and I know he's sitting next to me. "I too, tend to lay on the sidewalk saying that I'm fine. A real bad habit actually." He says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. "No seriously, what's going on?" He says. I sigh. It's a tiny thing that messed up a tiny part of my night, to everybody else. But I haven't really seen my mom in weeks. "Sometimes I think, that maybe if I got more of my moms genes, that she'd like me more." I say, my eyes closed so I didn't have to feel embarrassed.

"Li, your mom likes you just fine, she's just busy." He says, and I almost scoffed. "I knew you wouldn't get it." I shook my head lightly. "Get what?" He asked, and I sat up, and looked at him. "Matt, my mom got me a 200$ pair of shoes last Christmas, that was it, and it wasn't even anything I asked for. My mom, popped a couple pieces of leftover turkey from her clients Thanksgiving, in the oven and that's what we ate for Thanksgiving. Except, it wasn't really Thanksgiving because she didn't come home until the night after Thanksgiving. My mom has no idea who I am, she doesn't spend enough time around me to know anything." I finish with a huff, and realize I'm crying. He just stares at me as I fall apart in front of him. I sobbed, my head now resting on my knees. For a long while, he didn't say anything. "My mom was like that. She still is. She used to drink to feel, instead of using real things to make her happy. Now she just drowns herself in her work until I find her in her office in the morning. We're not that different Liana. And even though Hannah doesn't know any of this, I would never see you differently because of your situation." He says with a monotone voice.
I look at him and he's staring at me. God, he's staring at me while I'm crying.
We're really close, and it's kinda scary. He leans forward. "Your really pretty." Is all he whispers before he touches our lips together. I gasp, and push him away immediately. I look at him with wide eyes, fresh tears on my face. I shake my head, and kiss him again.

This one is longer, warmer, the kind that lingers in your dreams. I pull away from him again and run back inside.

That did NOT happen.