In My Bed (18+)

Chapter 13

Walking into the kitchen, I stretched my tank top over my torso, shaking out my sleep mussed hair. Jason stood at the fridge, staring inside with the focus of a surgeon working on a patient.

"Um..."

I came up behind him, "It's pretty bare."

"I wasn't going to say it, but-"

"College student," I shrugged. "I've got some pancake mix - you work on that while I make coffee?"

Glancing behind him, he smiled, "You got it."

After digging out the mix, whisk and mixing bowl, I pulled out my nearly empty bag of coffee grounds and got a pot brewing. As it bubbled, I turned, leaning against the counter, watching as Jason poured the first batch into my thrifted frying pan.

"So," I swallowed, nervous, "did you want to have that talk now or after we eat?"

Jason reached over, pulling a spatula out of the utensil caddy, "We can talk now."

Anxiety shot through me, and I nodded. "Okay."

Silence filled the space between us, electric with fear and all the things I wanted to say to him. It might have lasted moments or minutes, but when he finally spoke first, relief washed over me.

"I- I really enjoyed last night."

I snorted, "Couldn't tell."

He smirked, "Smart ass." Glancing aside at the pan, he continued, "Anyway, I know that you've got school and work, and I don't want to distract you from any of that, but I'd like to keep seeing you."

"I'd like that too," I admitted, hesitantly, not wanting to give away just how much more I wanted from him.

Soft pleasure shone on his face, and he said, "I'm glad to hear that." Pausing to flip the pancake, he asked, "So, how do you want this to work?"

"Um..." I licked my lips, pausing for time, "...if I'm being honest, I really liked our old arrangement."

Furtively sneaking around, hooking up at his home, trying out all of the depraved kinks that I'd wanted to experience but never felt safe enough to ask for.

Setting the pan back on the burner, he turned, listening.

I continued, "I know we had to call it quits because you moved to New York, but I had a lot of fun when we were together," my fingers gripped the counter behind me like a lifeline. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to try and continue where we left off?"

My cowardice echoed off the walls, sending shame coursing through me, but the possibility of losing him again hung over me like a guillotine. I'd survived it once, but the prospect of having him taken from me so soon after getting him back gutted me.

I'm scared to ask for more than crumbs...

Watching Jason's expression, I waited on tenterhooks, unsure what he was thinking. He was a puzzle to me, the grey hairs at his temples a visual reminder that this wasn't the man I'd let go four years ago. He'd grown, he'd changed-

-how much, though?

His unreadable eyes stared into me, "Would you still want to explore?"

God, yes.

"Yes," I smirked, trying to hide my nerves, "you have no idea how difficult it's been for me to find people I trust enough to play with. I haven't been tied up or spanked in forever."

Not since Jason...

But, I wasn't going to admit that to him.

"Well," his face took on a predatory hunger, "I certainly can't leave you so deprived."