Born To Die | Vanessa Afton

13

Vanessa picked you up at 6, as she sometimes did. Your car wasn't doing very well and constantly broke down the last couple of days so she had offered to give you a ride until your next paycheck when you can afford to fix it. You got into the car, a smile spread immediately on Vanessa's face as she started driving.

"Apparently, the day shift officers crashed our normal car and they have no spare so we are on files today." Vanessa had said, shrugging lightly as she kept her eyes on the road. The sun had started to set, reminding you how late in the year it was getting. By that you meant it was the start of September, the chill had begun to set in. You hummed at her, to be honest, after you did what you were assigned, you could just sit and talk, which wasn't all that bad.

Arriving at the police station, you both walked up to the front desk, the lady passed you the keys to the room. "We need some files on a suspect of a murder. There's about seven on the list." She started, pushing forward a small list to you while Vanessa seemed like she was in her imagination. "We just need you to write down each of their contact details and addresses. It's simple but it's all that needs to be done. 10 pm sound okay?"

"Perfect." You said, your shift ending a lot earlier than usual. You would usually end from midnight to two so it was nice to have a relaxed shift with an early end. Walking into the files room, Vanessa walked in and you locked the door. It was an obligation to do so because any person could sneak in and get in if it was unlocked, even with the two of you here, there was a slim chance.

To get through all the files, it took you two hours, meaning you had two hours left. You had ended up sitting on the floor with the files around you, you sat on a small cushion so it wasn't that uncomfortable, you just had more room on the floor since the desks were stacked up with files. Vanessa came and sat next to you.

"What a boring shift, right?" She mumbled, loud enough to hear though. You looked at her and she had the same expression as she did when you had gone out in the cold with her when the car broke down, she was in awe. She wasn't looking at you, more like the shelves a few meters from you both.

"I think it's nice and relaxing. A break from driving around in the middle of the night." You admitted. Vanessa hummed, and then she seemed to look at your hand for a moment. You hadn't noticed until you saw her head peak to look at you, she picked your hand up.

"Why'd you take the bandage off?" She asked, still holding your hand up as if she was showing you. You had known that you had taken the bandage off, you felt shame having it. An overbearing type of shame, like you were weak. Your parents told you that you were weak. But it's just a silly bandage, why didn't you just keep it on?

"The fabric was making it itchy. I got frustrated and took it off. I'm sorry." You had said, now you were lying. There was something in your eyes making Vanessa know that you weren't at the very least telling the whole truth, she had seen this look before, well in very different circumstances, but she had seen it, and that was all that mattered. She wanted to know, since it was clearly worrying you but you didn't push.

"There's no need to apologise." She whispered as she slowly interlocked your injured hands with hers, rubbing her thumb almost to comfort you but also trying not to hurt you anymore. Her hands were soft, softer than yours as if she took care of them. Yours were rougher. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling better." You said, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as she had whispered that. The squeeze of a hand brought you back to reality. You realised, over time but officially now, you liked her. She was at least a small, inconvenient crush. She was almost like your supervisor! You couldn't like her. That was all that was running through your head, but here you were, she was holding your hand as you slowly leaned onto her shoulder.

Affection was not something you were used to showing to anyone, including family, you were big on boundaries and usually set what a person could and could not do very easily but with Vanessa, it was blurred like you didn't know where the line was if there even was a line. "That's an improvement," she whispered.

The room fell into complete silence, only each other's breathing could be heard and you could feel Vanessa's eyes burning into the head that lay on her shoulder, you had looked up at her, almost curiously. Her hand reached to your face, sweeping stray hairs behind and just generally admiring you. As anyone would, you were lost in her touch, anything about boundaries had been forgotten as she placed a hand on your cheek, rubbed your skin and leaned closer to you. Then, a loud knock echoed through the room, making you both pull away instantly.

"Girls, shifts finished, can I have the details on my desk in five please?" The lady from the desk had shouted. You cleared your throat, being the first to stand up and gather the piece of paper you had written everything.

"Yeah, we will be out in a minute," you said loudly so she could hear but not exactly shouting. Vanessa stood up and went over to her desk. You were in your thoughts once again as you grabbed the keys and unlocked the door, had she tried to kiss you? It felt like it. And you would have just let it happen? You wouldn't complain if it had. You passed the office lady her information before walking out the door.

The drive home was awkward and silent. When Vanessa had parked outside your door, she sighed and looked at you. "I- I am so sorry for what I tried to do. I promise, never again." but you wanted her to try again, you couldn't tell her that but you wanted to so bad. You just nodded.

"It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow?" you questioned.

"Yeah. That sounds good," she whispered back as you left her car.