Born To Die | Vanessa Afton

32

Another thing you didn't love was the effort it took to book a hotel. Driving in the night practically gave you trauma since every turn you took make your heart race and every shadow you saw made you jump out of your skin.

You sat on the bed, eight o'clock at night, debating what you should do. Your hand fiddled with a bracelet that sat on your wrist. It was a bit tight on you, it wasn't yours. After cleaning out your car when everything had sorted itself out, you found a bloody bracelet on the seat of your car.

It was Vanessa's. You remember that it took weeks to clean all the blood off. Remembering the times she wore it broke your heart, she'd fiddle with it when she was nervous or lying. Everyone has a tell, that was hers, fiddling with jewelry. You had always wondered who had given it to her or if she bought it herself.

Fuck, you missed her.

It had been over twelve hours since you first arrived here, why hadn't you even tried to go to the hospital? It would be a lie to say you weren't scared, what would you even say to her? Could you even say anything? You didn't even know what state she was in. A reoccurring thought that travelled through your head was that she was dead.

And it was your fault. You let it happen. You could have stopped it. Why didn't you step in? Why didn't you take the knife to the stomach instead? She had more to lose.

Now you were crying. Like you did every night she was apart from you.

Finally, you grabbed your keys and headed for the hotel lobby. Its not going to hurt to go to the hospital and ask. Your car was filthy and you only noticed once you climbed into the driver's seat. Why was that the first thing to pop into your mind when you were going to go see if your girlfriend was dead, you had no idea.

However, you smiled at the idea of her being your girlfriend. Even after everything she did and everything she dragged you, Mike and Abby through,  you still loved her more than anything in the world. Ever since the incident, you've had to buy calming music to even drive around the block in another city in the dark, this time it didn't seem to be working.

Your palms were sweaty and frequently stuck to the wheel, you were so nervous. Your legs shook, it was lucky no one was on the road because you looked like a maniac who was drinking and driving. Finally, you pulled up to the hospital.

It was almost like you floated in. Your legs didn't work and your whole body just felt like jelly. Tears stained your eyes as you walked in. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like. Walking up to the front desk was the hardest thing.

A blonde lady sat, she was on the phone so you waited. You waited over six months so this was bearable. Leaning on the counter to catch your shaking legs, your hands ran across the length of the wooden desk as if you were asking to calm down.

"How can I help you today?" The lady asked with a smile. You reached into the back pocket of your jeans and took out your police badge, you assumed it would get things sorted quicker.

"Im... officer Y/n L/n." You stated simply at first, your hand trembling as you placed the badge back into your back pocket once again. Your hands clasped together as you took a deeo breath. "Is.. um... Vanessa Shelly here?"

Saying her name felt so unnatural. It was the first time you had said it in months. It felt so natural before, it just rolled off the tongue for you. You loved her name and it was something you grew to despise as time went along.

"No." She said, and your eyes started to tear up again. How could she just say no with nothing else to say? She could see you were more than just upset.

"Is she um... is she gone?" Your voice cracked, scared but this is what you had been thinking had happened. You thought that is she was alive, she would have contacted you or tried to do something.

"She's not in our system, does she have another name that she might be under?" She asked with another innocent smile that seemed to piss you off further.

"Afton. Vanessa Afton." You said way too quickly. Afton was the one name you couldn't get out of your head. You remembered the night after you brought Vanessa here, you had researched every little thing about her family and the business that was practically a cover up for a child-murdering trap.

"Here she is..." the woman muttered under her breath which made you sigh with relief. Her eyebrow raised as she looked at you. "We haven't seen her in three months."

"Can I have her current address?" You asked, pushing forward a small notepad and pen that you had on hand, her face turned sour, she wasn't sure on it.

"Ma'am, I-." She tried to speak but you interrupted her.

"Its for an investigation. Im looking into her, I need the information." Without another word, the lady took the pen and paper and scribbled down some notes on it before giving it back to you. "Thank you."

She nodded at you before answering a ringing phone. It took you a few seconds to read the address, it wasn't the one she had lived at before. Why had she moved? Were you about to knock on some old ladies house. It was now nine as you entered your car. Being too anxious to do it now, you decided to go back to the hotel and do it in the morning. If anything, she could be back working, you didn't want to disturb her yet.

You were so scared.