My life been hard cause my dreams are too big even bigger me i must say. Sometimes i say to my self leave everything enjoy life go out with your friends but when i listen to my heart it says be patient your loved one will come and you will do everything for her.
Its really confuseing cause i have two sides in me and i am delusional. I really need someone to talk to but this world is so cruel it changed everyone.
Before i used to like some girls but they never like me. I had nothing to show back then cause i had nothing. Now that i have everything and girls come easy i am scared that a wrong one would come in my life and i would regret it forever cause this stupid fucking heart of mine is crazy as fuck .
I love everyone I know even random person more than my life . I just know what i truely am i am just too good to much self i cant bear any heartbreaks causes its already been broken too much . I am scared that she would only come to me for my money and not for me people are so selfish nowadays there is no one you can trust specially for me.
Right now at this point i am just waiting for her to suddenly pop up and say everything you did was great even if i had never done anything.
I want someone who would look after me even when i am in a hospital bed unable to move. I want someone who loves me from bottom of their heart. I keep torturing my self if i become desperate i can find her very easily by talking to many random girls but my delusional heart says dont talk to anyone else find the right one first.
I keept being strong my entire life i am 22 right now and i deal with problems a 50 year man should deal . My father passed away a while ago and it kills me deep inside but i need someone to hug me and say it will be alright i got you.
I keept being so strong that i keept the weak part inside me just inside. I need to be very rude to people i talk to so i gain respect and its compulsory but deep inside i am still a child. I am just very scared if i would be rude to her by mistake and she would leave me forever.
I know my problems very well my only problem is i overthink and me overthinking is a compulsory thing for me cause i am a busy man . I am scared that if someone comes in my life its gonna bring such a heavy hit on my heart i would be willing to do anything for her.
Well anyone you reading this thinks i need attention no i dont i am just reliving my heart and makeing it feel lighter saying its ok i am fine you people dont have to be reading this tell when it becomes a problem and i will remove it
