Complications (MxM)

A Shift in Perspective (8)

After everything that's happened, and how quickly everything unfolded, it almost didn't feel settled. Like there was more to come. It made me uneasy. Why hadn't I been punished? I killed two people.

Something just doesn't feel right.

It's only been a few days since we spoke to the Council and trying to settle into Micah's pack house has been weird. He offered for me to stay in his room with him, but I opted for one of the guest rooms. As much as a part of me really wanted to say yes, I just couldn't. Without any fault to Micah, I feel like there's a pressure on my chest, like there's some expectations because we're fated.

It made me feel small, reminding me of Dave and his hold on me. I was his to use, it was my only purpose. I don't really know how any normal relationships work. Outside of Amethyst, there weren't many people that I talked to. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to behave around Micah. I don't know what his intentions are or what he wants from me. Especially after everything he's done for me.

I don't have anything to give. And he's already done so much, risked so much. It was a miracle when the Council didn't throw us in jail, or worse, outcast us as rogues. He could have lost everything he's ever known, Axel too. All because of me. I can't wrap my head around the why.

Why waste the time? They barely know me. It doesn't make sense. But even so, they still did it. I don't know what they want from me in return though, and it makes me a bit paranoid. Not knowing when the other shoe would drop.

Something just doesn't feel right.

I sighed to myself, curling up in the bed. The room is pretty big, the bed in the center with dark sheets and feather pillows, a window on my left and a closet on the right. I'm on the second floor, the door leading out to a hallway where there were other rooms and a few bathrooms. Everything feels so fancy, only adding to how out of place I feel.

The sheets were a silky pitch black, the moonlight casting in from the window. My skin still so pale, the contrast with the sheets was actually kind of pretty, especially in the moonlight.

My body feels hot and sore. My arm is mostly healed now, I was able to take the sling off yesterday. While it's only been a few days, I still think we all needed time to get back to normal, whatever that is.

And honestly, I still feel like I need more time for me to fully settle in. I've lived while looking over my shoulder and feeling out of place for so long, I don't know how to live any other way. Everyone has been giving me space but at the same time trying to make me feel welcome. It's weird.

Maybe I'm getting sick or something, but the warmth of my body was beading sweat on my forehead, my hair sticking to it. Despite how warm I feel, there's goosebumps lining my skin and I'm shivering under the blanket, my teeth chattering lightly.

Something just doesn't feel right.

It's cool out, but I shouldn't be shivering like this. My limbs are starting to ache, my whole body feeling sore. Pulling myself from under the blanket, I stood, wobbling on my feet before making my way to the door.

Walking to the elevator got increasingly difficult, but once downstairs I pulled myself down the hallway, practically dragging myself against the walls, trying to get to Lily's office.

The ache in my arms and legs was spreading to my chest and back, slowly turning into a more painful sensation. It feels like my body is trying to disconnect itself. Setting itself on fire in the process.

Something just doesn't feel right.

My eyes widened. This is similar to how I felt on my birthday, before I passed out.