Arachnivore

Hornets Nest.

It feels like forever since I've seen my daughter walk towards me. Everyday my memory troubles me by remembering the miniscule moments where she'd listlessly walk over to the table for breakfast. Now we beg for her first steps just as we did when she was an infant. 

If I could hear her childish whining fill the air of our small home again, I'd take it over anything. If I could calm her fears at night again, of all the chaos of her life, and have her believe me, it would have already been done. Her name explains it all, Cherish... she's my world in it's entirety, we knew it from the start.

You know.. I never thought it would be her, but that's just how to world works, isn't it?

I slapped my pen down on the table and almost tear this bundle of paper in between my fingers. My eyes are red from lack of sleep, eyebags for days, my entire body hurts from weeks of distress. The timer for the washing machine beeps and the whirring throughout the walls stops. I remember why I'm back home. 

My clothes I've been wearing for a while are done, its a miracle considering Christopher hadn't had time to wash any laundry, nor I the willpower. The last thing my girl needs is me smelling like a swamp animal. 

I sit with guilt staring at the wall knowing my daughter wont see me for a couple of hours, I just need to relax, to have a moment.

The TV has a small click, with the TV brands logo doing a comically playful animated dance. The remote takes moments to respond to the firm clicks for channel changes, and I see him on the news.

"Spider-Man? Again?.." 

He's caught on camera distractedly flying past buildings, the camera man struggling to keep up.

A reporter boldly states "Spider-Man has been spotted in the Brooklyn area heroically wrangling up suspects under the suspicion of supposed "discreet criminal activity". Suspects are to remain in police custody and further details about hearings and what this entails will be released under the digression of City Counsel Members and NYPD." Her voice is cut off by my thoughts.

Honestly I don't mind, though his actions sometimes cause trouble with city council and politicians, he's doing what needs to be done to keep people like me safe. Thank god he got those crooks. I don't think I'm up to hear anymore of this though, I've got enough to worry about. With that, I turn the TV off, and having had a small victory and moment of sanctity from the criminals of NY, I feel like rest is awarding me....

I'm floating.. I'm floating above above the lining of a bridge, I can see everything, everything sees me. There's power in my heart. I look below to my right and my daughters.. smiling at me. Lets just take the view in.

"IVA!" 

My husband's voice suddenly booms from behind us, calling me.. and he's almost screeching in terror.

"IVA!!!" His voice is contorting at this point, and its horrifying, it sounds like he's distressed.

I turn around, but he's smiling. I don't know what's going on anymore.

"𝗜𝗩𝗔!!!! 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬!" Christopher's yelling jolts me awake, the door slams shut and I'm expecting the worst.

He runs up with so much energy like he won the super bowl and gives me the biggest embrace.

"What!!! what's wrong?!?"

He takes a moment to get himself together and blurts out "I just got hired on the spot! We've got income!! I'm starting in a couple days- I can finally help us the way we need to! The pay is great, we- we can get Cherish what she needs and, and- I wont be gone all day anymore!- You can rest! We can take days off now!!-"

and at that.. I take the biggest breath of relief that I have had in a long, long time; albeit, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh My GOD!! You've been trying so hard! We needed this Chris."

My voice breaks with pure emotion. "We need to tell Cherish! She's going to be in such high spirits! Maybe she'll even start to feel better!" The tears break the surface of my eyelids and pour down my face. All we can do is cry and embrace for long moments of time, all words come out in broken emotional celebrations.

He's sitting next to me, this look on his face of satisfaction, I can see all his dreams of a bright future as he's staring at the resume he worked tirelessly on improving. He's one of the most hardworking people I've ever known. It's a shame he's been so underprivileged but he's done his best with what he's been given. Our teenage misguidance played apart in what brought us to this point too. So when our daughter arrived, he vowed to give us everything we've ever wanted, and to give her all the happiness and joys this world could provide.

My daunting reflectiveness was interrupted by the sight of the contract agreement that was slightly visible underneath the jumble of papers in his hands.

"AXIA Security Corp? Your going to be a Bouncer?"

He looked at me with a slight smile like what I said was silly. "No love, I'm going to be a medium rank security officer. Yeah, it's with AXIA, a friend of mine has a job there. They said I get paid in the thousands depending on the job and the time of day, but I wont be gone for too long, I promise."

I made a face without knowing it, one of worry. "Chris, that's not what I'm concerned about, I know you'll try to make time for us, you always do. It's just that.. well..."

He looked at me begging me to go on

"well I want you to be safe, I know the money could help us, but it's nothing if your going to be traumatized every other day by some drunk, or some maniac. You have to consider your safety. I can't be without you-"

He interrupted in an almost offended but reassuring tone. "Hey, hey, I've got this. what's the matter? Where did this all come from? Do you think that I can't take it? I'm not defenseless Iva. Besides, I won't be dealing with those kinds of people anyways, the person that interviewed me said I'll be covering for company property entrances in the finance district. I need to do this, we need this. This is all we have."

"Well.. okay." My smile return, his comforting worked me like a charm. We discussed, we dreamed, we thought out how we'd break the news to Cherish.