Tending The Darkness

Chapter 6

Cameron's perspective;

The attraction between us is electric. She wanted me back. She was surprised, no one looks at her the way I look at her. I know she felt the same way about me. All the things that I was feeling, all my expectations, all my devotion. I had already welcomed all of her into my life, I needed her, and it was as though her body could feel it and needed me back, so when I opened my arms to embrace her, she collapsed into them. My darkness enclosing hers.

Dinner tonight. I have a semi. Not much of a wanker, I don't have anything against it though. I can feel her. She seems to be a toucher. I'm harder thinking about it. I can't help sexualising her. It's a part of her and a part of me. I find it boring when people don't accept that about me. I sexualise. Its a part of life. And I like the thought of her having sexual thoughts about me. I didn't come all this way just to be her best friend.

Valerie's perspective;

I touched myself last night. The air is buzzing around me. My feminity is speaking to me. "He is supposed to do those things to me.", it is saying. But I couldn't help it. My body craves to be sexual with Cameron. He's kind to me, and cares what I think about. He had dinner with my family. That means something. I am happy with my families reaction. They aren't pushing anything or making things uncomfortable. I suppose they expected us to have a connection. We are both young , dark and Royalty.

He is to be my lover. Tonight I will try. Ive settled on wearing a red satin mini dress and matching stilettos. I'm considering wearing a black lace bra that peeps out on the top. Yes. I want him to know I have sexy lingerie. I want him to know that I think about those things. I decide on a garter belt and black stockings to match. I do my hair and in soft curls, and stain my lips red. I don't want to wear lipstick incase we kiss.

Jack phoned me this morning asking why I hadn't answered him. It was uncomfortable and I explained that I wasn't sure that things with him would continue. This upset him more than I expected it would. I thought it was more casual than that between us. I declined to tell him who it was. And he sounded indignant. The sex with Jack was good but for Cameron I have deep want. I desire and possess him in my mind. He will be mine. I told Jack that I would consider still being friends and he understood when I said it was to do with my darkness. I could tell that this bummed him out though.

I don't really dwell on Jack after hanging up, I go downstairs and eat another oatmeal cookie.  my brother is laughing at me with his eyes. How pitiful I seem being emotionally attached. It is so unlike me. But I'm done being ashamed of what I am. I'm done pretending to fit in. I will shine my black light on the world and show them their insecurities for a change. No smudge unnoticed. I am laughing because Cameron seems to like my smudges, my finger prints. Like he's been wanting me that way his whole life.

My sister laughs at how I am dressed. I roll my eyes. I have been having sexual thoughts about Cameron the whole day. Me on top. Him on top. Me the mom of him. Him the dad of me. Us in a forest. Us at the ocean. Having sex all of the world. The best friends one made me a bit shy. I don't ever recall feeling close to a man, or even a woman for that matter, that could realistically result in best friends. More sexual thoughts. I wonder if he'll let me stick something in his bum. I doubt it. Maybe though.

In the back of my mind there is a beating drum. DUM DUM DUM. It beats. DUM DUM DUM. Over and over in groups of three. Like a war drum, but of sexual orientation. DUM DUM DUM. Every base beat it makes starts intimidating me. Like it is bigger than I can control. DUM DUM DUM. Over and over. A kettle drum sound. I'm apprehensive. I've never loved someone before and I think i love him, and not just him, his darkness too.

I've started to love my darkness too. Together, two storm clouds in a clear blue sky. The thunder is obviously sex or something.

I am laughing at my poetic side. Like romantic fucking. Can there be such a thing. I would doggy style with him. Ass clap for him when he is sad. That type of shit.
I don't oppose to that, I find ghetto culture extremely influential. The lack of money causes them to compensate, and truth be told most of it is better that money things and some of it you cannot buy. I don't hate money, I like expensive shit. It has a theme of its own, a sexyness people work for. But I don't think one is better than the other. As for the Royalty of it. It is surprisingly dangerous. I am accustomed to it, and I know how to treat it. But a wrong move as the wrong someone can be disastrous, even harmful.