Chapter Ten

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We all headed to the funeral home the next morning. Raymond had chosen to have it here because the church wasn't available on the weekends.

Two boys with sandy blond hair stood in the family waiting room. One was thirteen and the other was almost twelve. I had not physically seen them since I was fourteen. We all had the same shade of blue eyes and skin that was more likely to sunburn than tan.

The older boy, Daniel, had his arm around his little brother, Caleb. Caleb was wiping his eyes which were swollen and red. My heart hurt for these two. I might have had my issues with Amanda but I already knew what it was like for a mother to suddenly leave. I knew what it was like to wish for her to be there and knowing that she won't. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, much less my two youngest half brothers.

Elyse and I were arm in arm. It felt like I was holding her up. She had been a wreck all morning. She was trying to put on a brave face for these two now though.

They both smiled meekly when we walked up to them. They went to hug Elyse first. That made sense. They actually knew her. She wasn't the sister that just popped into their lives on rare occasions.

Caleb went to hug me next and he clung to my waist. I couldn't help but to hold him close. He reached for my hand and I let him take it. I had forgotten just how sweet this little boy was. I had let my bitterness towards Amanda cloud my thoughts about my brothers and I knew it.

Caleb led us over to where Amanda lay so that we could say goodbye.

Even with all the makeup they had used to try and cover her wounds, I could tell the damage was bad. She didn't look like the person I knew. She barely looked like a person at all; more like a wax figure of herself.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel the need to cry at the moment. Caleb had my hand in a vice grip. I felt frozen there.

A hand came to rest on the small of my back. I looked up and was beyond thankful to see Tyler there. He silently kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back in a comforting motion. He started to guide me to a row that was reserved for family. I looked over and saw two more blondes sitting in the row already, Amanda's oldest two kids. Bryce and Finn. Finn looked stoic and Bryce looked down right annoyed. I wondered if what was bothering her was the same thing that was bothering me?

They both gave half smiles and nods of acknowledgement.

Bryce was the oldest at Twenty-Five. She wasn't quite three years older than Elyse. Finn was only fifteen months or so older than Elyse. Her conception had ended the relationship between Bryce's and Finn's dad and Amanda.

I was surprised that Amanda stayed for so long with my dad. I apparently was the last ditch effort to save their relationship. It hadn't worked obviously. Daniel had come along much like Elyse. Technically my dad and Amanda were separated though when she found out she was pregnant again. Apparently, it had been an episode of Jerry Springer in our house when Dad found out that the kid wasn't his. Elyse had told me about it. She had had to witness it when she was only seven. Little Caleb had been her final one. Elyse told me Amanda had been smart enough to get her tubes tied after him. It clearly helped her stay married.

All six of us kids were now in the same room for the first time in at least five years. We sat in the row quietly; waiting on the funeral to begin.

Tyler rubbed my shoulder to let me know he was right behind me. That helped.

Amanda's husband Ray entered with the Preacher. Dad had raised Elyse and I Catholic but I knew Amanda had been a member of one of the Baptist Mega Churches here in Dallas. That was reflected by how many people were here.

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