TF2 Headcanons, Incorrect Quotes, X Readers, And, Other Things!

Soldier Headcanons!

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I stand by the fact that this man is the typical American dad, but... he's also such a fucking crazy?

Like one day, he'll be grilling steak in an apron that says "Gold bless America" on the tits, six pack half gone, (it's 10 am) telling you the story of how he went out and killed it with his bare hands only about seven minutes ago. Then, the next day, you'll see him eating half a bag of potting soil and rocks for breakfast. Like???? And he's still in good health, so I guess whatever he's doing is working?

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Nearly shit himself when he found the bombpop vodka. Nearly killed himself, mixing it with the bombpop Mt. Dew.

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I don't see enough content with Soldier and Pyro, which is sad because, like, they're both sweet and would totally be friends.

Let's be honest, Soldier would sit and tell Pyro every piece of American history he knows, and Pyro would sit and listen. Dare I say Pyro might even enjoy listening about the history of America.

But I do think that Pyro and Soldiers friendship is different from Engie and Pyros' friendship. Pyro and Soldier are like brothers. Engie and Pyro are like father and child.

I think Engie keeps Soldier in line, too. I think them as a group would be really cute.

(Also, I think him and Scout have a father and son bond. Please it would be so sweet.)

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Speaking of history! He has one of those tables where you can reenact a war with like plastic tanks and mini figures. (I can't for the life of me remember what it's called.) He's memorized every war, every move, every anything. Tell him a specific date, and he can set it up to match what happened that day perfectly.

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While this man does act goofy and al aot playfully criminally insane. I do think he has very real issues. He is super on edge most of the time. He can't deal with sudden loud noise without a warning. He's protective over anyone and everyone. (He would take a bullet for any of his teammates).

I don't know if I'd say he has PTSD but something happened to him, and the whole loud, proud American man! Is a persona, a way to cope and find a distraction from the bad times.

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You'd think for a man who's so pro America he'd be unaware of the world around him, but you'd be wrong. This man loves other countries too, it's just happens to be the U.S., which is his everything.

He knows about the culture and life in other countries because he learned about them after he met Medic, Heavy, Spy, and Demo. He wanted to get to know them and understand their country because he just assumed everyone was as proud of their home as he was, so he wanted to be able to talk about it with them in the same way he talks about America.

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I think he reads Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters books. I can't really explain why? I just get the vibe that he likes them.

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Fourth of July is obviously his favorite holiday. But considering half the base isn't American and the other half isn't too keen on celebrating, he always thinks he's going to have to celebrate alone. But NOPE. You bet your ass the Mercs celebrate with him.

He loves his teammates, and they love him.

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Love marine biology! A huge fan of sharks and whales. Cried when he found out about whale sharks.

"ITS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL! THE BEST OF EVERYHTING!"

His favorite sharks are hammer heads, and his favorite whale is a beluga whale.

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I don't care if he has a set home state in canon. THIS MAN IS FLORIDA CODED!

He's wrestled an alligator and fucking won!

One time, the team took a vacation to Florida. I imagine happening with him and Scout. Like vividly.

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