Deadpool wakes up, he's in the air, being carried by one of Iron Man's sentries. And he has handcuffs on.
"What in the actual fuck is going on?" Deadpool tries to move, but he's paralyzed
"Oh yeah, forgot to mention, that gas I sprayed you with also temporarily paralyzes you." Iron Man says
They land on the ground, and Iron Man escorts him through the door of the Illuminati facility
"Okay Maverick, stop being so handsy." Deadpool says
Him and Iron Man walk through the hallways of the Illuminati facility
"So, what the fuck is the Illuminati?" Deadpool says
"It's a group of the smartest minds and most brilliant tacticians in our universe. We were formed by Stephen Strange to make the decisions that the other heroes can't." Tony Stark tells Deadpool
"Wow, sounds like a group of pretentious assholes." Deadpool says
They make it to the end of the hallway, where there are two big doors.
"Well, I guess you can learn for yourself." He says, he opens the doors and pushes Deadpool in. He lifts off of the ground, and flies over to his seat on the stage.
The Illuminati stand before Deadpool, then they take a seat.
"Wade Wilson, you are now being called before the Illuminati. Facing charges of illegal multiversal travel. I, Stephen Strange, will hereby begin your trial." Doctor Strange says
Deadpool bursts out laughing
"Doctor Strange? What kinda seventies movie villain name is Doctor Strange." Deadpool says through the laughs
"Quiet." A voice says
"I'd like to introduce yourself to our first member, Captain Carter, the First Avenger." Doctor Strange says
"Oh great, the most forgettable character from What If is here." Deadpool remarks
"Blackagar Boltagon, Keeper of the Terrigen mists, the Inhuman King." Doctor Strange says
"Holy fuck.. Blackagar Boltagon.. And I thought Francis and Doctor Strange were shitty names." Deadpool says
Black Bolt tells him to stop, in Attilan Sign Language.
"Captain Marvel, Defender of the cosmos." Doctor Strange says to introduce Maria Rambeau as Captain Marvel
"Are you guys gonna pause for the clapping and cheering for EVERY MEMBER? I mean who the fuck is gonna cheer for Blackagar Boltagon." Deadpool says
"The smartest man alive, Reed Richards." Doctor Strange says, right as Reed portals in.
"Oh my god.. you look exactly like the guy who plays Dwight on The Office." Deadpool says
"You already met Tony it seems, so I'd like to introduce you to our final member..." Doctor Strange says
Deadpool looks genuinely excited
"Professor Charles Xavier." Doctor Strange says
Charles hovers in, and into the direct middle of the stage.
Deadpool cheers and claps
"Is this a joke to you?" Peggy asks him
"I'm sorry do you really expect me to take this seriously when fucking Jerry Maguire escorted me here." Deadpool said
"It's been a while since we had to deal with a Wade Wilson" Xavier says
"Excuse me?" Deadpool asks, but is cut off by Black Bolt
"Let the trial commence." Black Bolt signs
"Why am I even here?" Deadpool says
"That's what we're trying to learn, Wade. Why did you come to our earth?" Reed Richards asks
"It's a long story, but there's an apocalypse on my earth.. And we needed to escape it. So I'm trying to travel the multiverse to find a universe we can just move to. I don't have any bad intentions, I just want my friends to be safe again." Deadpool pleads
"If you left and moved to another universe permanently, you'd cause an Incursion, which would trigger the collapse of the multiverse. I'm sorry, Wade, but you and your friends lives aren't worth risking the stability of the multiverse." Reed Richards says
There's a brief pause
"Then what do we do with him?" Captain Marvel asks the group
"I say, we take his multiversal watch, and throw him back in his universe." Tony Stark says
"Have some sympathy, Tony. There has to be a better solution to this mess." Captain Carter says
Deadpool thinks
"What if you put me and my friends in a universe where we previously didn't exist? Would that still cause an incursion?" Deadpool asks the Illuminati
"Theoretically... No." Reed says
"The energy that would take would be too much to consider this. We would get nothing out of it other than just helping him." Tony Stark says
"I mean... I'm a mercenary. I kill people for money, is there anyone I could kill for you?" Deadpool asks the group
"We have a list of the six most dangerous people in the Multiverse, if you killed all of them, we could send you to a universe where you and your friends didn't already exist." Reed Richards says
"Sounds fine to me. As long as my friends are safe." Deadpool says, relieved.
"Does everybody agree?" Reed asks
Everyone nods, including Tony Stark.
"Wade Wilson, you will kill those six villains for us, and then you will return immediately. Once you do, you and your friends will be in a brand new universe. Do you agree on these terms?" Professor X says
"Yes I do." Deadpool says
"Then you will be escorted out, and given the list. Good luck, Deadpool." Charles Xavier says to him
Deadpool nods, and is escorted out by Tony Stark
"Alright, to give you a bit of an edge, I'll give you this." Tony Stark says, he puts a little bit of nano tech on Deadpool's mask, and the mask absorbs it.
"Hello sir." A British voice says to Deadpool
Deadpool is startled
"Who the fuck is that?" Deadpool says
"That's JARVIS. He'll be your guide. Listen to what he says, I promise he's smarter than you. The list should be already uploaded into your mask." Tony says
"Okay." Deadpool says, they continue walking down the hall, and enter the main portal room.
"Well, I guess I'll see you soon... Good luck, Deadpool." Tony Stark says
"Thanks, Ethan Hunt. You can be my wingman anytime." Deadpool says, a portal opens in front of him, and he walks through.
YOU ARE READING
Deadpool: Agent of The Illuminati
ActionAfter the events of the post credit sequence of Deadpool 2, Deadpool completely messes up the timeline, and chaos ensues. But, when a close friend of Deadpool dies, he attempts to travel the Multiverse to find a new universe that him and his friends...
