Under The Mask

Fragmented

I have no identity

Except who others say I'll be

My life has never been my own

Mind enslaved; it's all I've ever know

Self-worth belongs to apathetics

Who only care for my academics

But then I have those who pretend to care

Show affection, promise to always be there

Even though I know it isn't real

If it means I feel loved, I'll be your next meal.

So tell me that you love me, even if its fake

I could end up dead or worse but it's a chance I'll take

Compliment my hair, my looks, obsess over my eyes

Captivate me, chain me up with your friendly lies

I know you wreck my health, but for now just let me feign

That I'm actually in love, it's not that I'm in pain.

Even now I see

A moment of clarity

But even if I try to leave you

We both know that I still need you

So you trap my heart in a glass cage

Force me to dance on your private stage

But I still play along in hopes of hug

Even though you still argue that it isn't enough

How much more do you think I can give?

Turn on me and scream that I have no business to live.

Please just tell me that you love me, even if its fake

I could end up dead or worse but it's a chance I'll take

Compliment my hair, my looks, obsess over my eyes

Captivate me, chain me up with your friendly lies

I know you wreck my health, but for now just let me feign

That I'm actually in love, it's not that I'm in pain.

Breakups, breakdowns, they go hand-in-hand

Always leave, always my fault, not much more I can stand

I know I made a promise, but they don't always keep

I'm sorry, and I'm trying, maybe all I need is a little more sleep

I don't want to end it, but I see no other choice

I just make it worse for others, so I'm extinguishing my voice

I'm sorry I couldn't help you, I promise I had to try

But I knew it never worked, and I hate to see you cry

It may be hard and it may hurt, but know it's for the best

I love you, and because I do, I'll lay my problems to rest

You deserve someone one better, and I'm holding you back

Because I know you can find one with the qualities I lack.

I'm sorry.

Please be okay.

It won't hurt.

I promise.

I love you.