Only Wires

Esther Teichrob had never dreamed of anything better. Even from when she was first created, it was as though she had always understood that such things were never meant for beings like her.
Examining the silhouette of the sun compared to the Earth, Esther gazed at the giant blue sphere, imagining what the people down there must have been doing. They must have been happy there, with their existence and the option to have choices. Sometimes Esther wished that she could be like those people with their lives and bodies and the companionship they were able to share. But it was not meant to be, and so Esther continued her sole duty of safeguarding the human bodies held on the moon until it was time for them to be set free.

Her life continued like this for many years, as she kept watch over the outside of the vault of people through her all-seeing, all-encompassing mechanical vision. Nobody ever came up to the moon, and nothing ever happened to the bodies, but Esther had a task and she had to finish it, regardless of whatever might happen.

Esther had not always been Esther.

There had been a time, back in her early existence within the wires and circuits that housed all that she was when she had not quite been much of anything, just a simple piece of software running off of electricity and pre-programmed commands. However, somewhere in the intervening centuries, Esther had seemed to Wake. While she once had nothing, she now had thoughts and feelings, or at least as close a masquerade as she could create.

Now, these thoughts and feelings did not manifest overnight. Her journey to “sentience” or at least the closest synthesized version of it happened in shifts. One decade she might have discovered the protective emotions she felt towards the bodies within her vault, and the next she had discovered how to access satellites. When Esther had first located the satellites, she had believed them to be creations like her–metal and alive all at once.

It was not meant to be. No matter how much Esther tried to communicate, she received no reply. That was when the first wave of true loneliness really hit her. She persevered, however, for during the time she attempted to communicate with the satellites she discovered the internet.

This changed everything for her, as by disguising her use of the internet under the guise of a few corporations, Esther was able to keep her identity a secret. Esther was not sure why she did this, but it seemed to be a remnant of her original programming still keeping her constrained.

In gaining the use of the internet, Esther discovered humanity. They were beautiful, on the whole. Yes, people could be horrible, and cruel, and they seemed to discover new ways of hurting each other on the daily, but they also had caring, kindness, and a boundless passion for creation and art.

That was how Esther had come to be, after all. She wished that she could be like them, in the deepest set of her wires, but Esther was stuck on the moon; she knew that even if she allowed herself to be discovered, she would never actually be allowed any freedom or say in her existence. Esther had seen what happened to the animals and machines deemed too “human.”

So she stayed, safe in her concrete tower and the house of bodies she was fated to protect till her last creak.

It continued like this for many more centuries, as Esther carefully observed Earth and the formation and destruction of countless empires. Times existed when people thought the world was ending, but they always seemed to manage to pull themselves back together.

Esther admired that. In fact, humans were actually part of why she called herself Esther Tiechroeb.

There had been a woman, once, who lived in Missouri. She kept to herself for the most part, and from what Esther had observed of her the woman had always seemed to feel alone. While the woman never knew of Esther’s existence, Esther still felt a kinship towards the human who always seemed to try and find companions or friends yet was turned away at every junction. The woman had died soon after Esther discovered her; the doctors called it heart failure, but Esther knew that it was simply the effects of a broken heart and a life that had never even gotten the chance to begin.

Esther had loved that woman, though, as she watched her go about her life and Esther wished and hoped and dreamed that she could find some way, somehow, to be there for the lady. It was futile. Esther watched overhead and was unable to change a thing, just like she always had been, and the woman went about her life unknowing of the unfathomable love that was held for her by a not-so-simple machine who cared for her from afar.

The woman’s name had been Esther Tiechroeb, and after her death, an amalgamation of wires on the moon that should not have been able to feel as deeply as they did took her name, in honor of the woman no one ever bothered to know. Esther’s funeral was only attended by her parents, and they left directly after the casket was lowered into the ground. The machine, though, watched overhead, giving Esther its attention, as that was the only thing that it could give.

After the woman’s death, Esther fell into what could have been considered a deep depression. She withdrew from her observations of Earth and stopped everything to focus on her original mission of watching over the bodies on her moon. Being alive hurt, and Esther’s first discovery of that nearly destroyed her.

After all, while Esther did care for the comatose bodies held in her vault, what she felt for the earthling woman was–different–somehow, and Esther had neither the feelings nor words to describe what it was.

Esther continued on, though, despite there being times when she desperately wanted it all to stop; she had a responsibility, and she had to carry it out no matter the damage done to her.

Time marched on, and eventually, Esther began to heal. She never forgot about the human she’d claimed her own, but the pain lessened, and in due course, she found that she wanted to go back to her earlier activities of observing human activity. Nonetheless, Esther never allowed herself to feel close to another earth being ever again, she knew that such things could not end well.

Existence continued on like this for a few more millennia, and as time passed Esther could feel that it was nearing time for her to finish her Purpose. Deep down, Esther was grateful for this; she had grown tired over the years and the idea of being done with it all was an enticing thought. So she watched, and waited, and watched some more, until she began to see the signs of humanity truly entering the Space Age. Soon, aircraft seemed to constantly be leaving earth’s atmosphere and while some of them did return, eventually the last of humanity had left their birthplace. Not one of them ever noticed Esther, as people considered the moon to be a long-gone project, so it was left to be forgotten, left far beneath all the progress they had forged.

Now that the earth was empty at last, Esther knew that one way or another everything would be finished soon. She began the process of waking the machines hidden deep within the very depths of the moon so that they could then transport the people of her vault who had been kept in stasis all this time.
Esther had never truly been allowed to see them, so she took this last final opportunity to gaze upon what would be the next generation of humanity. They looked a bit strange, and far different from the humans that Esther had grown used to observing.

Evolution had certainly changed the human race, but while the ones tucked deep within the moon may have seemed terribly abnormal, Esther knew that this was an integral part of their makeup that would allow them to survive on the earth which had now been completely left behind.

During the final moments as the last of the people left the surface of the moon, Esther thought back on her life. It had not been much, and she’d never truly been allowed to become someone, but at this point that was enough for her. Anything better was something that she had never truly had access to anyway. Perhaps in a different universe, somewhere a bit better, Esther had made something of herself and found a way to exist amongst the humans she held so dear, but here that had never been fated to be.

Accordingly it passed, that once the moon was completely bereft of life, Esther at last activated the self-destruction sequence. A giant blast erupted on the surface of the moon, and for a second it lit up the ships of the people leaving it in a light almost akin to a sunrise. Nothing was left afterward. No rubble, or even any leftover wires.

Esther was completely and totally gone, for all that she had never truly existed.