Written in 2023 by Ally Chin
I remember when we first met. She glanced up at me, our eyes met. Hers deep pools of blue, swimming with kindness and a touch of anxiety. From that day onwards, I saw her every day. In her favourite cafés, laughing, her laugh. It still rings in my ears. The angelic sound breaking through the air like a breath of fresh air. The way she threw her head back letting her golden hair fall over her shoulders.
How I wished to be the reason for her laughter.
I see her at school, where she is loved by all. Receiving a million greetings every day. Stopping to say hi and smile at people she doesn't even know.
It's been a while since she's said hi to me.
She's been less happy recently. She's stopped putting on the façade. I see it in her fading smiles, tired eyes, and tense posture. She's doesn't meet my eyes anymore. Always quick to turn her back. To act as if I don't exist. I don't see her in cafés, or in parks, and she's rarely ever at school anymore. She's avoiding me. A girl once so flawless, so perfect- now sullen, hollow, and morose. She is but a shell of who she used to be. A casing filled with shattered dreams. She won't let me help her. Running at the mere sight of me, flinching in my presence. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
But I still try.
Day after day after day after day. She appears paler, terrified, and exhausted. I walk past her house everyday hoping to get a glimpse of the girl she used to be. I don't see her. I don't see anything. The warm hum of her family gone. The crackling of the fire gone. Abandoned.
I first noticed him 2 months ago. I thought I was crazy at first. Seeing him in cafés, at the park, even at school. I thought, maybe he just moved in down the street. But I can't take it anymore. He's everywhere. Always watching me. Always following me. I can sense his gaze, smell the piercing scent of cleaning alcohol. It's made me paranoid. The thought of his stained blue boiler suit keeps me up at night. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't leave my house. The constant dread, wondering when the watching will turn to more. Whether he'll come for me. Come for my family.
I can't take it anymore.
