Written in 2023 by Ally Chin
You know the voice in your head that tells you what's right and wrong? I don't have that. I have someone better. I have Clarisse.
Clarisse tells me what I want and how to get it. Her voice first echoed in my mind when I was at the shops. She said she wanted a chocolate bar. So, I took it. I got caught. That was when the theft started. I almost never succeeded. But I'm better now. Clarisse told me all the things to watch out for. All the things to do. She looked out for me.
There was this girl, Laney. Clarisse doesn't like her. Her eyes were too big, her hair was too long. Clarisse told me, Laney has to go. So, I tried to get rid of her.
That landed me here. The psych ward. In my trial, they said I was insane, crazy, not in my right mind. Clarisse was angry. She didn't like us being locked up. In the past 2 years, I've been on my best behaviour. Clarisse said;
"Get out as fast as you can. Finish her. Kill Laney."
So that's what I'll do. Clarisse is sick of the therapy, sick of the straitjackets, sick of being imprisoned. I'm being let out. My good work paid off. Clarisse craves the freedom, she craves blood. Laney's blood. Laney's family was in shambles. They moved houses. They moved towns.
But that won't stop me.
When I tried killing her the first time, I wasn't careful. My knife wasn't sharp, wasn't polished. I cut off her hair. Tried carving her eyes out but, the forest wasn't thick enough. When she screamed, people came running. Clarisse was so mad at me. She pounded my head. It was unbearable. I begged for forgiveness, apologised profusely. She finally stopped when I promised to finish what I started. Clarisse became kinder, every time I felt bad for failing, she reminded me,
"You can't let your failures define you. You have to let your failures teach you."
These beautiful words motivated me to be better. I will succeed.
The day I was let out, my family came to get me. I smiled. We were free. This time, Clarisse and I carefully plan every detail. Research the best ways to keep Laney quiet. The day has come.
I stalk through the meadow, listening for Laney's family. We're close. I have a better knife this time. It's freshly sharpened, sleek and it shines. The glimmer of the moonlight reflects on the blade, giving it a glowing aura.
I creep further. Further away from her family. Clarisse whispers,
"Now." And I lunge.
"Have you seen Laney?" A lady in a yellow apron turns to her husband, panic in her eyes. Their daughter, Laney, had returned from the psych ward 2 weeks ago. She was behaving so well, she was rested, she had healed. She was normal. Her husband turns to her, trying to not let his worry show,
"She's collecting fireflies in the meadow; I saw her 5 minutes ago."
He's trying to convince himself as much as he is his wife. Their daughter is fine, she's well, she was sick and now she's better. The lady looks out the kitchen window, straining her neck, looking for Laney.
"I can't see her."
Their parental instincts kick in. They run out to the garden. Searching for Laney.
A hole in the fence.
They run toward the hole. Climbing over and into the forest. They see Laney. She's hunched on the ground. Muttering.
"You can't let your failures define you. You have to let your failures teach you." The man skids to his knees reaching for the knife in his daughters' hands. She jerks away. The lady is fumbling with her phone, trying to call for help.
"You can't let your failures define you. You have to let your failures teach you."
Laney stabs the centre of her head. It doesn't go all the way through. She stabs and stabs and stabs. Repeating the same words. The man is distraught. He's helpless, grabbing for her arms, struggling to restrain her. But it's like she's grown stronger, she lets out a guttural growl and shoves him back. She crumples to the ground, blood dripping down her forehead, bleeding into her eyes.
"Clarisse." She smiles. "I did it."
