DISTRIBUTING/ VIOLENT
CHAPTERAyesha sat on the sofa, with her back straight and eyes trained on dilawar who's head was down and hand fiddling with each other. Ayesha grabbed his hand in between her and squeezed it, making it known to him that she's here. Sighing deeply, dilawar looked up, ahead at the blank wall with his eyes still filled with tears, and he started.
"I was- I am originally turkish ayesha" saying, he looked at her, she nodded understandingly. "My...my father was turkish and my mother was half palestinian and half pakistani-- working in the turkish airline" Dilawar stopped and cleared his throat, ayesha noticed his eyes dimming, talking about his parents.
He turned to look at her "I was studying in a school, where I.....I-i was a.....b-bully" ayesha gulped, he continued. "There was this....typical pakistani girl, in my class. She was....unusually unhealthy. So thin and weak! She used to disgust me - I hated her guts" Ayesha felt his grip on her hand tightening, knowing it wasn't in a past tense. She squeezed his hand back, he continued.
"She used to be so modest, jab baaki larkian school ki designated skirts pehna kartin thi, she used to cover up alot. From her hair in that ugly blue hijab to her legs in so baggy jeans - ayesha even her baggy jeans and baggy dress would make it obvious that how thin she was" being engrossed in the memory, dilawar eyes burned with fire. It was scaring ayesha that how much hatred was there for that girl, in the eyes of dilawar.
[When girls used to wear designated school skirts]
"Mujhe us se chirh thi! Uske harkaton se, uski baton se - uski awaz se" and as if everything changed, dilawar eyes softened, it got filled with guilt and tear. "I-i hated her....so much that i used to torture her" she didn't gave him any reaction, he looked at ayesha and then again stared at the wall ahead, with tears pouring his eyes like unstoppable waterfall.
[Her everything used to annoy me, her behaviour, her voice, her talk]
"She used to ask me to stop....I never stopped. I used to take her hijab off and run around the school, laughing at her misery. Sometimes when I would be angry, I used to slap her....punch her.....Beat that thin girl to the core where she used to kiss my shoes to stop- I was ruthless ayesha"
Ayesha dam stopped, listening to him, her dam stopped, the tears that his eyes were leaking, were angering her, it was making her mad, she wanted to slap him, but he continued. "I-i....there was a chemistry lab in our school. I was angry...angry on my sister that day" he whispered, crying with hand beating his chest. Ayesha looked at him confused. "I was angry and I took her to the lab...we were alone, she was scared, she was giving me the sake of everyone, yet I abused her, I slapped her, beat her with my belt-my belt ayesha....I beat her so much that she got unconscious"
Ayesha's chest was paining, she was blown away by the news. Everything seemed like a film, playing infront of her eyes where she imagined them both. Sniffling, Dilawar spoke again "after that day....she didn't come to school, it angered me...I wanted to see her, I wanted to play with her hijab, it continued for a week and in that week, her absence made me so mad that I used to torture my own self - it still confuses me, why would I feel that way ayesha? Why?"
He muttered confusedly, he never had answer for that nor he wanted ayesha to give him any yet when she muttered the reason in a slowest voice and eyes so bare of emotions, he denied it heavily "You were in love with her dilawar, she never gave you attention so the only way you could get her close to you was to bully her, you never wanted her tears but her emotions for you"
Dilawar stumbled on his words, his tears burned his eyes again as he put his face between his palm, crying heavily mumbling "I did" in such a manner that had ayesha broken.
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