Lost In The Darkness {Edited}

Chapter~22

Like
.
.
.

Comment
.
.
.

Enjoy <33
.
.
.

Lucas's POV:

The silence was deafening and awkward, only the sound of clock ticking and the scribbling on paper could be heard. The tension kept building on my shoulders while I was attempting to let the heavy weight, my heart and mind was drowning in, to let out.

But again, the keyword here is an "attempt".

"Lucas, you will have to speak to me. I can't help you if you keep doing this." Dr. Amara, an old lady and my therapist sighed, putting the pen and paper down on the table.

"I am trying." I tiredly whispered.

"Let's start again from the beginning. How was your day?" This is the third time in the last thirty minutes that we are redoing this. But Dr. Amara is always hopeful for a breakthrough. The old lady just never gives up. I think she despises even the thought of losing. Although, it is perfect for her line of work where she never wants to give up on her patients. One stubborn woman, that she is.

"My day was usual. I woke up, made breakfast for my brother and dropped him off at the school. Then I went to college, attended lectures and later, worked myself off. Nothing special." I answered, and Dr. Amara listened to me with all the attention. The part that my mind was enchanted by a certain woman was a piece only I was to treasure and sharing it with Dr. Amara felt wrong. So, I kept it to myself. 

"What did you have for breakfast?" She asked, calculating me with her eyes.

"I made a sandwich for my brother." I answered, not really understanding why the breakfast I made was important at all.

"No Lucas, I did not ask what you made for your brother. I asked what you ate." She repeated herself.

"Come to think of it, it slipped my mind to eat." I answered, recalling the last thing I ate which was a granola bar that too in the afternoon. Man, I think my stomach is broken, that stupid thing doesn't even grumble for holy sake.

"Hmm, is it normal for you to forget things or only when it is about you?" Dr. Amara drawled out, being mindful of her words. In my opinion, that woman can never offend anyone with her aura and personality because she is crystal about her care towards the patient.

"I never really noticed. Maybe I will observe my habits and then in the next session, we can talk about it." I proposed, earning a nod from her.

"What about your nightmares, do they still bother you?" There is that question again, I can answer this but for some reason the questions that follows suffocate me from speaking up. No matter how much I try to say something, I am unable to.

"Yes. Only when I am lucky do they never bother me." I answered, a tight fist coiling its way around my heart and gripping it tightly, almost painfully.

"Are those nightmares just bad dreams or recurring past episodes?" She pried comfortingly. 

I don't know. If they are memories, I don't know about it, but they are too real, much painful to be just bad dreams. I can feel it in my bones, somewhere in far end corner of my mind, that I lived them, and my nightmares are a curse that makes me relive them, forcing me to remember a chunk of what I am oblivious to. 

"I don't know." I forcefully choked the words out like a poison. 

"If it is okay with you, can you tell me what the nightmares are about? What do you see?" Her voice filled my ears. She sounded so gentle, so sweet, yet the question took me to the darkness where unknown keeps pulling me into, a scary place that creeps me out.