If love was in Abhimanyu's destiny, he was convinced it was written as a fleeting moment. A shooting star. Life toyed with his heart by giving him an Angel and then tearing her away, time and time again.
Life told him he was too imperfect for love...
Abhimanyu's home was a shrine to Akshara, just like his heart. In every corner of his heart, you'd see her imprints and his devotion to her memory. He'd name the Birla house ManAksh, or just Akshara if he had it his way. His love for her was all-consuming. Every time Akshara vacated his life, it destroyed his existence, as if he was nothing beyond Akshara's jogi or Rooh's Poppy and Abhir and Ayra's Dadda.
Mahi's love for Anurag was different. It was soft yet potent. She embraced every part of him without letting go of her core, and Anurag did the same. Her - no, their home in Bangalore was an amalgamation of them, their Aashayien, as the nameplate said. The walls were coated with memories they'd made with their friends and families.
They had a small guest room dedicated to Naaz and Gurpreet for their visits, with small trinkets, toys, and photos of the two with a young Naaz. In one of them, Mahi wore the same olive green and striped sari as Naaz fell asleep in Anurag's lap. Gurpreet probably took the photo, he assumed. In some ways, it reminded him of moments he shared with Rooh.
"Jodi achi hai," Abhimanyu commented. Behind a vintage turquoise cassette player, a selfie of Mahi and Anurag was on a coffee table. Her head was on his chest as they squeezed into the frame, his long arms holding the phone above them right before sunset. They complemented each other so well, her with her elegant white and red saare, his shirt matching her white jhumkas and bindi.
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"Aasmano mein jo likhi thi." Mahi remembered the day that photo was taken so vividly.
"We're just dating; is it even appropriate for me to meet them?" She sulked. It was her first military social event where Anurag would introduce her to his seniors, like Col. Shergill and Col. Anand. Mahi wasn't as nervous for exams as she was panicking that day.
"We're going to be 'just dating' for a long time," he quoted with his fingers, "so I think it's worthwhile. Unless you've changed your mind on this?" He pulled the ring out of his back pocket. She bit her lips like a pouting child.
He sat before the dresser, adorning her with long silver jhumkas and chudiyaan.
"Hmph," he coughed. She clanged the chudiyan together like Sridevi in Chandini.
He held his hand to his heart, "hayee, maar dala." Just like that, he eased away her worries.
"Chalo ab tum bhi tayaar ho jao," she ushered him into the washroom. They weren't late for time, but she loathed him seeing her blush. She could never hide the effect he had on her, tho.
"Oye ladki," he called from behind. "Je jo baacho wali gussa tum karti ho, badi cute lagti ho. You know that?"
Mahi smiled wistfully. "Maggi kaoge ya Pizza order karo?" She busied herself in the kitchen. The apartment was clad with furniture and utensils, ready for anyone to stay a night or month. There weren't fresh groceries, but Mahi was never one to cook. The freezer was stacked with frozen meals, and the cabinet with pop-tarts and Maggi. It was like she'd never left for Udaipur.
"Kuch bhi."
"Pizza it is." She set up plates on the counter and called for delivery.
"Can I?" With Mahi's permission, he played the cassette player. Her heart raced with possibilities. What tape was left in there, she tried to remember.
Pyar deewana hota hai mastana hota hai, Har khushi se har gham se begana hota hai. Kishore Kumar's voice illuminated the room.
Shamma kahe parwane se pare chala ja, Mahi hummed along, her spirit vivacious as she imagined Anurag listening to the song wherever he was. The kitchen became her dancefloor, and she jived, pulling Abhimanyu along with her. His moves were far from perfect but his laughter erupted. She slowed down into a freestyle, slow dance when he couldn't catch up.
"Don't you feel guilty or miserable? Dancing in this home without him?" Whenever he heard Piya Tose, he was transported to his encounter with her and the moment he knew his heart was gone. It affected him so much that he was sure he could hear his heart crack a little.
But in their home, Mahi seemed alive.
"Woh nahi raha, toh kya main bhi nahi hoon? Kya sati kya zamaana abhi bhi hai ki main jeene chod doon uske jaane ke bad?" She sat on the couch and caressed the cassette player.
"Jab tum apne bacho ke liye jeeto ho, unke saath khush hote, kya tumhe guilt mehsoos hota hai?" He didn't reply. "Hum mein farkh sirf itna hai ke jiske liya tum jee rahe ho, woh bhi zinda hai, aur jiske liya main khush rehna chahti hoon, woh iiss duniya mein nahi raha.
Her hair swayed as she returned to her makeshift dance floor. "Main haar uss gaane pe dance karongi jis se Anurag ko lagav hai. Har uss cheez pe muskeranogi jis pe Anurag ko pyaar hai. Woh nahi raha to kya hua. Woh mera hissa hai, aur jab tak main hoon, tab tak woh hai." Her philosophy was easier said than done. If she were transparent, she'd admit that in the first year after Anurag's passing, she only danced, imagining him as her partner. Kabir and her friends worried she was hallucinating. She wasn't. She was dreaming with open eyes because the thought of fulfilling their aashayein alone seemed unbearable.
Abhimanyu hoped to feel so free one day. Seeing Mahi, he dreamt of living in peace with his present and Akshara's memories.
