The Woe We Deserve

Chapter 33

Xavier's head was reeling. He paced in front of Ophelia hall, feeling torn about how to proceed. He wanted to run away and hide as much as he was itching to sneak back up to her balcony and beg her to talk to him some more. He wanted to convince her that this didn't have to be the end of the world—it didn't have to be this horrible looming thing...

But he knew it would be pointless. It was clear how she felt—horrified. Which, of course, he was expecting. He had braced himself for the outcome, so why was he so upset?

He cursed himself all the way back to his room, and promptly collapsed on his bed, head buried in his pillow.

Months prior, before he started dreaming about their future, he had assumed that Wednesday was destined to a life of loneliness—that she'd never allow herself to be tied down. He felt stupid for allowing himself to believe otherwise.

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Wednesday sat on the balcony, right where Xavier had left her. She couldn't move, or think. The way he'd left her had her in a panic. The implication that she could ruin everything was... reasonable. Predictable, even. It had been one of her concerns from the very start. So why did she feel so caught off guard by the comment?

She wanted so badly for it not to be true. But maybe it was already too late. The look on Xavier's face was seared into her mind. He hadn't looked at her like that since she had tried to frame him for murder.

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The next morning, she spotted him in the courtyard, but he wasn't sitting at their usual table. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a bagel and a cup of coffee, and his usual sketchpad rested on his lap.

She made her way toward him, breakfast be damned. She needed to speak to him, and it couldn't wait any longer. The apologies were almost pouring out of her. Her brain still felt muddled, and she had no idea what to make of his visions, but she knew one thing for certain: she felt horrible about the way she'd reacted. She'd hurt him badly, and she wanted to fix it.

"Can I join you?"

Xavier stared at her combat boots for a second, then nodded his agreement without looking up at her face.

"I would have let you have custody of the table, if you were trying to avoid me." She dropped her bag on the ground and took a seat to his left, so that they were both facing the mass of teenagers enjoying their breakfast.

Xavier looked sideways at her and shrugged. "I'm fine right here."

Wednesday nodded. She took a deep breath, and prepared to jump into the apologetic monologue she'd gone over a dozen times in her head, but Xavier stopped her before she could start.

"Wednesday?" He looked exhausted; there were dark circles under his eyes—darker than usual. She'd expected more anger from him, but he mostly looked tired and sad.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking about our conversation last night, after I left."

"Me too. Xavier, I'm so—"

"Please, listen, okay?"

She sighed, but nodded.

"I dumped a lot of information on you. You need to time to process everything. And so do I. Not just the visions, but just... I don't know. Everything? And I just feel like if we keep talking about this right now, when we're both overwhelmed... we'll just say stuff we don't mean."

"Even more..." she mumbled.

"Right." He took a deep breath and glanced at her. Wednesday was staring blankly at her hands.

"How long?"

Xavier shrugged. "Just... a couple days."

"A couple days," she parroted.

"Is that okay?"

Wednesday looked at him, but her face was unreadable. Inside, she was screaming how not okay, she was with the idea, but she knew she had no right to deny it.

"Whatever you need."

Xavier smiled sadly. "It'll be good for us. We have a lot to think about." He noticed the panic in her eyes.

"Think about us?"

Xavier pursed his lips. "Yeah."

"Right."

She nodded at him without meeting his eyes, then picked herself off the ground and walked away without another word. Xavier watched as she crossed the courtyard without another glance. His gut wrenched, and he wondered if after all they'd been through, this would be the thing to break them.