⇢ 𝐀 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨. ∙⋄♡⋄∙ A school trip then forces them to get closer to eachother... How close could they possibly get? / chatfic / fem! reader / highschool au.
This also contains angst...
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The day past by quite fast. It was a fun day since we got to explore the ground a bit and we visited other people's cabins. We also got to talk about many things as a group which was also amusing to listen to. You could say it was a tiring day.
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We were currently all in our cabins as it was around 10 p.m.
I decided to stay up while my roommates were all sleeping peacefully.
Hu tao was basically sleeping in a star position, taking up all the space in her bed and somehow the space still wasn't enough at how much she was stretched out. Her blanket was practically not even on her. It was half on the bed and half on the ground.
Yoimiya was basically the only one sleeping like a normal human being. She was in the middle of the bed facing upwards, her blanket covering her dormant body.
Mei and Asuka were both sleeping in each other's embrace, it was quite cute, it even made me question whether they were actually just friends or dating in secret or something.
Anyways, I couldn't really fall asleep as easily as them since I seemed a bit bothered by something.
I got off my bed as I decided to head outside the cabin. Luckily, I hadn't changed into pyjamas's yet, so I was fine walking outside. A lake resided right in front of our cabin, so I was quite lucky for the beautiful scenery.
I walked closer to the lake as I could see a glimpse of light that was reflecting from the moon to the lake. It looked so pretty and mesmerizing. It also felt comforting.
I couldn't tell what was wrong with me. I mean, I had such a great time today with everyone, yet somehow, I feel nothing now...
I knew that I was happy in that moment, but now I can't understand how happiness is supposed to feel. It's like I felt happy in those instances but once it ended, I would forget the feeling and I would just feel nothing and empty.
I stared at the water a sad glimpse in my eyes as I sat at the ledge of the water.
Why do I feel nothing? Why can't I remember how it feels to be happy? Was I even feeling happy? Was I just smiling because everyone was doing so? Was I just mimicking their expressions in hopes it would make me feel the same?
Why am I like this...
What's wrong with me...
Am I being over dramatic?
Maybe I am...
Yeah...
Surely I am...
And just like that, I made myself feel worst.
Why won't I let myself be sad? Was I self-sabotaging myself in feeling empty?
Maybe I've been bottling up my emotions for so long, that now I just feel empty. I feel nothing...
How'd I turn out this way...?
I sighed to myself in frustration of my thoughts. I felt like I was being over dramatic, but at the same time, I wanted to say this to someone, anyone. I wanted someone to know what I was thinking. I wanted someone to make me finally feel something for real.
But when will I find that person? Am I even going to find such a person?
Does such a person even exist...?
I started to overthink a bit too much as I started to feel overwhelmed. I stared out at the moonlit sky in hopes that it would make me feel better. It slightly did, but it never erased the feeling of emptiness. The feeling of nothingness....
What am I saying. I'm making no sense. I'm just tired.
I chuckle to myself as my smile slowly dissipated the longer that I thought about it.
I stood up and looked up at the sky once more as I put my hands together and closed my eyes.
Please, I beg of you, brightly lit stars in the sky, please...send me someone who will comfort me and make me feel something. Someone who will make me feel whole...Please.
