Some things come naturally to some people. For instance, that little girl who is as graceful and limber as a professional ballerina who can pirouette perfectly. Or that math whiz who slays each test he takes with adept photographic memory. Numbers just buzzes about his head. God blessed them with the ability to do without a struggle. He blessed them with the ability to just do. It just flows.
As long as I lived, I yearned to be one of those people.
Everything I have, everything I am, I had to work for.
If I wanted that A+, there was no: "I'll call it a night because I know for a fact I'll ace this with no problem." My bachelors degree was achieved by energy drinks and grueling nights where I slept on the desk instead of the bed.
I had to study.
That rhythmic pulse and those sharp motions as a cheerleader weren't innate. Long hours were sacrificed. The cliché, blood, sweat and tears were poured onto that dirty, putrid mat many a night's.
I had to practice.
I didn't grow up stinking rich with a silver spoon hanging out of my mouth and gold nuggets for teething rings. I witnessed my mother slave out of pure love and devotion my entire childhood to provide for my brother and me. She gave us the best life any child could imagine. Her work ethic ebbed into my core and was emblazoned on my brain stem.
I had to work.
Now, I am twenty-four, and off on my own. There's no more mother. There's no more brother. It's just me. And sometimes I get lonely. Sometimes I get drowned in my own sullen thoughts, so deep that it enables me to go out of the apartment without being paranoid.
In the midst of all of my faltering thoughts, shortcomings, jubilation, and hard work, I always asked if I could obtain one thing naturally. Innately. Endowed. Endued. Imbued. Transfused.
And that was...
Happiness.
