I Love You Dangerously ||Daerin||

Chapter 1: Serendipitous Meeting

The moment you realized that you have no worth within this beautiful world, will be the moment where it seems like the days are passing slowly.

Excruciatingly.

Their fingers was tightly holding my neck.

Day by day, they will slowly consolidate their grip. 

It was suffocating me.

Whisper of agony always rouse me from my deep slumber, where even nightmares of that scenery haunts me.

I relive that moment over and over again.

I experience that traumatic event everytime my eyelids meet their darkness.

Their voices. Their screams. Their cry for help.

It still echoes.

Those people... My family.

They did not neglect my needs of love.

They had loved me to the fullest.

The story seemed so perfect. But ended too soon...

The moment I  realized that I  had lost grip on something so precious...

I lost every ounces of my sanity.

The warmth of going home was gone.

Everytime I unlock the door, I was met by silent. Those greetings were long gone.

I found myself being swallowed by despair itself.

I have no reasons to reside in this place anymore... 

But what's this...?

What cliché life have for me.

I thought that everything was meaningless.

But there you were.

A single glimpse of you make things bearable.

You guard me from all the nightmares.

You shooed all the monsters away.

Your serene voice loomed over those annoying whisperings.

You make me feel something so foreign to me...and I like it.

I like the warmth it gives me.

For the first time, I want to be selfish.

I want you to be mine... MINE ONLY.

I still remember the first time your world had collided with mine.

Ending it all was the only thing that occupied my mind. I stand on that secluded unpaved trail, letting the rain fall down my face. The tall trees shadowing all existing life from my sight as heavy clouds dominated the whole forest. 

The lightning roars in all might, yet I did not felt agitated. I slowly gripped the knife, making its way towards my neck.

My mind was in dazed when I heard your scream for help.

I did not intend to investigate, let alone pry in someone else's business. It was you who darted your way towards me. 

Tears were flowing down from your eyes as you shiver in cold. Fear evident on your face. 

We both fell on to the ground by the impact of you, throwing yourself onto me. 

As the shadow emerge from the trees, you wrapped your arms around my shoulder. You whimper saying "please help me." 

Only then, did I noticed the blade sticking out from your arm. Blood gushing out.

The tall man, probably in his 30's that time, laughed maniacally while clapping his hands.

"Little kitty found a friend." He said mischievously. Feeling the presence of danger, your face went pale as the man pulled out an axe from behind.

The moment he took his first step, my vision blurred. My mind went blank. 

The only thing I remembered was opening my eyes, seeing you, wrapped in a blanket with police cars everywhere. The sirens of the ambulance was deafening. 

The man was nowhere to be found.

The rain seemed to worsen.

You strive your way towards me, a handkerchief in hand. Soon I found you wiping the blood smeared on my hands. 

You looked at me with glassy eyes, wrapping me in, with your blanket. 

You hugged me with such warmth that my heart felt it was once again...alive.

 I let you know about my past,

and being the generous parent your mother is, she let me stay inside your humble house.

Once again... I felt home.

You and I talk about silly little things and would cuddle in the same blanket before sleeping.

You would always hug me whenever I wake up from nightmares. 

You would lulled me back to sleep saying everything will be alright...and that you were there for me.

I loved it.

The way you make me feel that I'm not alone.

The way you loved me.

I love it all.

But the feeling of unsatisfactory always lingered in my heart as I see you talking with the boy next door. The way you laugh at his dense jokes. I hate seeing you with somebody else that it kills me to the core.

I want you all to myself.

At the end, I learned that the feelings you give me, all the worry you give me... Was nothing but "sisterly love". 

You saw me as your sister while I saw you more than that. 

In the end, I hid my feelings for you.

I feared that you won't return back what I felt for you.  But underneath a seemingly innocent face I put on, veiled all the reveries I want to do to you.

Your presence alone intoxicates me.

As time goes on, you slowly drifted far away from others. You became quieter, only talks if necessary. You avoid being friends with our classmates as possible.

It was our 4th year in highschool when you found yourself in a smaller circle of friends. 
I couldn't be more happier to see you being anti-social.

Because that would mean that your smile and even your laugh will be mine only.

Hey Haerin... Did you know that I took care of your first heartbreak? 

The guy didn't deserve a bright future after what he did to you... So I made him see hell.

I smiled as I poked her chin. Feeling my heart beat in joy, seeing her sleeping face.

I hoped for the day I would claim you.

The day where I would make you mine.

As for now... I'm satisfied just being near you.

"Goodnight Haerin." 

Kissing her forehead, I hugged her from behind before letting myself fall asleep.