Unfixable

A Shadow

"Cap..." Gavin didn't know what to say as Allen was rolled through the front door. He was a shadow of his former self. His faded grey eyes were dim and bloodshot, with bags so dark they were almost black. His hair had greyed a little since he'd last seen him. There were more lines across his brow and around his eyes. He'd lost so much weight his clothes sagged, and he could see his bones. He was weak. Frail. Phck, he's in worse shape than I was when I got here...Of course he was. He'd lost more. Emotionally as well as physically. From the looks of him, Gavin was surprised they'd saved him at all. He was the definition of a no-hoper. It was a miracle he'd survived the blast, let alone made it through surgery and the first recovery stage.

It had taken him weeks to be allowed to travel. The risk of infection had been too high, and with both legs cut off above the knees, he didn't have much more that they could take. Gavin couldn't even comprehend it. Both legs. Above the knee. On top of the amputations, he'd suffered some nasty burns. They weren't limited to his freshly stitched stumps either. They coiled around the tender skin before rising up his back and across his right side. His right arm, particularly the forearm, had also been caught. The burns were still sore and raw, wrapped in bandages that had to be changed regularly. From what Gavin had heard, the shell had almost fallen on top of him. He'd been lucky to get off so lightly. Phcking lightly? He would have preferred death. He was pretty sure Allen felt the same.

Although he didn't show it openly, he must have been in fucking agony. Losing one leg had been painful enough, but both legs and all those burns? He wouldn't have been able to handle it. Especially not knowing that his lover was dead. He and Sixty hadn't exactly seen eye-to-eye most of the time, but he'd been a good guy at heart. A good guy that Allen had loved. Phck, there's no way he would have put up with his shit otherwise! He'd covered for that menace more times than Gavin could count.

"It's good to see you..." It was good to see him, but not like this. It would be a long road to recovery, if he ever recovered. Allen didn't acknowledge the greeting. He barely seemed to notice anything at all. He remained hunched in his chair, gazing vacantly at his knees. Gavin looked at Nines worriedly before kneeling down beside him. "Hey..." He would have rested a hand on his thigh, but the skin beneath was obviously tender and scorched, so he settled for the solid arm of the chair instead as he tried to catch his eye. He didn't even seem to know he was there.

"He's had a long journey...Perhaps he'll perk up a bit later." The nurse didn't even sound convinced by her own words. Gavin's lips thinned as he smiled and nodded his agreement, though he didn't believe it either. Before Allen could rest, Elijah wanted to examine him. He needed to see the full extent of the damage, and he wanted the wounds freshly disinfected and wrapped in case they'd been dirtied along the way. Nines agreed it was a wise precaution, though it would be painful for Allen, who was already worn and weary. Gavin and Nines accompanied him to an examination room on the ground floor.

"You've arrived! I'll bring Elijah. Perhaps you two wouldn't mind helping with the bandages?" Chloe added as she looked between them. Gavin's jaw tightened as he nodded. This wasn't exactly his area, but he could at least do what he could to help as Nines unwrapped the wounds. Nines lifted Allen onto the bed and started tugging off his clothes. Though he didn't say it, Gavin knew he was thinking about how light he felt. He'd lost both legs, and clearly hadn't been eating much. He was wasting away.

Even taking his clothes off was a painful process. Despite Nines' gentle touch, Allen flinched and blinked in pain, thinning his lips to take quick, panted breaths through his nose. His eyes filled until the tears trickled down his hollow cheeks. Gavin didn't know where to look. He knew Allen. He was the strong, silent type. The last thing he'd want is to be seen like this. By anyone. Least of all the men he served with. It was surely humiliating for him, being handled while his subordinate watched. Gavin did his best not to show the pity he felt.