You and I

CHAPTER 21

NANDINI

I need to talk to you.

I stared down at my phone. It was from Manik. He'd been upset this morning, and when Vihaan came, I left from there. I usually don't hang around if his friends come up when we are talking, except for Abhi.

He had clearly been hurting in the morning. His morning with his Dad hadn't been good. Now, it was time for pep rally. I don't think I'll get a chance to talk to him about it.

I moved out of the way of traffic in the hallway as everyone hurried to the gym so I could text him back.

Okay. Do you want to talk after pep rally?

I sent the message and waited for a minute to see if he replied.

"No. I want to talk now." His voice was in my ear as his hand wrapped around my arm. Then he was moving me away from the crowd and down the empty hallway.

I didn't ask where were we going. I just went.

He opened the door to a classroom and guided me inside. There was no one in there. It was empty. I turned to face him as the door clicked.

Manik closed the distance between us, but he didn't touch me. He just stared at me as if he was searching for some answer.

"I can't do this tonight. I need to be home with Dad. He's just getting worse. What if I'm here playing and he... goes? What then, Nandini? How will I forgive myself for not being there beside him? For not being there to hold Mom? She's gonna need me." His eyes became watery even though I knew he wouldn't cry, and he rubbed his hand over his mouth and nose. "God, I can't do this. I can't. He loved football. We loved it. But I love him more." He spoke each word as if it were ripping him open.

I reached over and took both of his hands in mine. That always seemed to calm him. "What would he want you to do? If it were your Dad's choice, what would he want?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Manik sighed and hung his head. "He'd want me to play. He'd always want me to play."

I didn't say anything more. I let him think about it as we stood there. He laced his fingers through mine and rested his forehead on mine. Being there with him that way, it felt like home to me. While he held on to me as if he needed me to survive. Maybe we both felt the same right now?

"What about Mom? She'll be alone if I play?

"Is there someone you can ask to stay with her during the game? Someone she trusts?"

He lifted his head. "Your Mami."

Mami would be there in a second if he'd ask her. Abhi would want her there. He wanted to do something to help. If he thought his Mom missing his game to go sit with Manik's Mom would help, he'd want that.

"Ask her. She wants to help. Abhi wants to help. Let them. If anything were to happen, I'd have her text me immediately, and I'd be on that field to get you."

Manik's eyes had dried up and he nodded, his jaw clenched, as if he was fighting the urge to scream. I knew how that felt. I had actually screamed, though. I hadn't been able to control myself after Mom's death.

"You're much stronger than you think," I told him.

He pulled me closer to him then bent his head and kissed on top of mine. This felt so intimate that I can't explain. It was a moment I'd cherish forever.

"Thank you," he said as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I wanted to sink into him. Hold him so tight that I never had to let go, but this wasn't that. He was just seeking comfort. And I would give him that.

"You're welcome," I replied against his chest.

We stood there for a few more moments before he stepped back and let his hands fall away from me. I felt cold without them. I wondered if he felt the same. Did I give him warmth the way he did me?

"I want you to meet Mom, she'd like you," he said as a small tired smile touched his lips. He was emotionally drained. This was exhausting him. I wondered if he slept at night.

"I'd like that. She sounds like an amazing woman."

He nodded. "She is."

The noise from the pep rally started up, and we heard the muted sounds of the students cheering.

"You'd better get in there," I said, hoping he won't get in trouble for being late.

"I'm not going. I told Coach I had to go home to check on Dad. Your Mama suggested me to tell Coach about it, so that I could get out of here whenever you needed to. Now I can leave without having to explain and miss things like pep rallies without getting in trouble."

Mama would be there when the time would come, when he'd need a father figure. I was thankful he had that. My Mama was a good man. Mom had adored him always. She would often talk about him. And they had the same eyes and smile. When Chacha told me that he wanted me to go and live with him, I hoped that maybe living with him would make me feel closer to Mom, and I did.

"You want to go with me? Can you leave?" he asked me.

"Leave?" I wasn't sure I heard it right.

He nodded. "Yeah, go home and see Mom. Maybe if Dad's awake, you can meet him too. I mean if you're okay with seeing him. He looks... bad."

I placed my hand on his hand and squeezed. "I'd love to."

His smile was the kind of smile that was so rare, you wanted to keep it. It made you sit around and think of things to do just to get that smiled he flashed at you. When his eyes were genuinely in it and he truly meant it, there was nothing in this world that compared to Manik Malhotra's smile.

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