The Crash: Book One - Fire in my Blood

Chapter Eight: A Long Strange Year - Part One: The Lament of Autumn

Bella

"She said, "I'll throw myself away, they're just photos after all."

I can't make you hang around. I can't wash you off my skin. Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out. You won't remember anyway."- Queens of the Stone Age (Go With the Flow)

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

It was dark for a long time, but I was vaguely aware of the passage of time. Not in the sense that I knew what day it was, it was more like I was partially aware that I was alive, and the world was moving around me. I knew I was in a hospital, but I was so disconnected that it wasn't a worry. What gradually woke me up was the pain. It was subtle at first, then as the world started to come back it became more and more acute.

When I woke up sometime later in a hospital bed, I almost screamed because the pain in my chest and back was like an exposed nerve. I felt eyelashes tear as I forced my eyes open, and the dim room was very blurry. I looked around, and could just make out two human sized shapes. One was at the foot of my bed, their head resting by my feet. The other was against the far wall facing me. Both were making sounds as though they were asleep and I recognized both. My parents were here, in the same room. It had to be bad.

How long had I been out?

I tried to sit up, but found I was totally immobile. I blinked a few times to clear my eyes out, and tried to bring my hand up to wipe them. My right arm wasn't moving, and found it was encased in a large cast covering from my fingers up to my shoulder. So I tried my left and discovered it was attached to a mess of cables and an intravenous line feeding me fluids.

"Help." I said, my voice was low and scratchy, and barely audible. But it was enough, Dad roused immediately and looked directly at me. We met eyes for a second and his mouth dropped and his jaw began to quiver. He was on his feet and at my side so fast.

"Bella..." He paused as he whispered my name in reverence. "What do you need?" He spoke gently, as if his voice might hurt me, while brushing my hair back from my forehead.

"Water." I croaked out. He nodded with a deep breath and reached for the nurse call button. A few seconds later a woman came running in. The nurse's name tag was the first thing I noticed; G. Mallory.

She looked at me and smiled widely, then nodded once at my father before moving over to my side and checking my pulse. "I'll call Doctor Cullen right away."

"Can you get her some water first?" Dad asked rather gently.

"Of course, I'll be right back." She was nodding at his request and was already turning towards the door. The nurse returned quickly, with a pitcher of water and a plastic cup with a straw. The cold liquid felt good on my lips and tongue, and nearly made me sigh in relief when it hit my throat.

"Slowly." She chided, and pulled the cup back as I gulped the water down. It was the best thing I had ever tasted, which in a perverse way was kind of wonderful.

She spoke at normal volume though, which caused my mother to stir. I braced myself as she woke up and as soon as she saw me awake she stood and rushed up along the bed and then stopped herself from going in for a hug. "Bella!" She practically screamed.

"Give her space Renee." He said softly, she was hovering near my face and it was a bit intrusive.

She turned and glared at him. "She's awake, she needs me." Renee said with venom. It was clear there was an argument I wasn't aware of, probably about me.