At the start, the Boykisser created the kiss and the boy. Except He didn't, because He had to create a lot first to do that. He made the Earth, and said:
- I cwan't see a dawn twing in hewe! Lwight be mwade! - and light was made.
Because He was such a snoozer, He still kept darkness sometimes. He called the light "Dway" and darkness "nwighty UwU". He went to sleep like the eeber he was, and in the morning he continued.
- Ouchies that wazn't wise. I bwent to eeb in twe rocksies. I shouwd gwet myswef a nice and comfy pwace to eeb like a snoozer. Ema zuch a smol bwean >w<.
He then made the heavens, made the clear blue sky to please His view and cotton soft clouds to give soft rest to His butt.
- Hmmm wotw I like wotw I like to spwash like a lil wotw bwean!
And He made the seas and oceans, rivers and lakes. He also hid water inside the Earth.
- Dwis is so emptwie - He cried - I nweed swome lifey wifey!
He then snoozed soundly in the clouds.
He then made trees and plants and bushes. As He created them, He was kept in awe of the marvellous creation. He stared surprised at the small grass and filled the land with them. He was entertained by the plumpy bushes. He made a chonk, and called it "twunk", and filled it with lots of leaves to decorate it, and called that "twee". He took his time exploring different shapes and sizes of plants.
Then, He drove His lips to a plant, and kissed it. From the plant, a beautiful appendix appeared. He called it "fwowew" and said:
- Iu, iu wiww be twe gwift to twe bwoys, iu wiww be twe pwant twat I wiww give, and evewiwone wiww gift iu to twe pweopwe twey luv.
And thus love was made. And He still kisses plants to this day to made them bloom. He made a field bloom with the most beautiful flowers and He fell asleep there. What a snoozer, man.
The second day, He painted the sky with starts and moon, and the sun. This was because He woke up at night, and was scared of the dark. He loved the night sky he made, and it conforted Him.
The third day, He made the animals, and made them fly, crawl, rest, snooze, and swim, and He reunited them and said:
Go ahwead, gwow, and bweed like I'm nwot watchwing. - He smirked - Fiww twe wand, wotw and twe sky witw bwabies U//w//U.
He then went to sleep. The fifth day, He woke up and chose war.
He made a duck of five heads, and called it "Twe Weviadwuckie". But The Leviaduck rampaged and was mean, so the Boykisser interviened:
- Waaaaaaa! - He cried - No! Meani! No mean! Duckie bwad! - He was outraged! - Go to eeb and domt wake upsies!
And The Leviaduck snoozed until The Last Day, in which it would wake up to serve his Lord. And only then the Boykisser snoozed soundly.
The next morning, the Boykisser made a garden, towards the north, in the place where He had made flowers. He walled it off with thick stone walls and four giant gates; planted it with lots of fruit trees and plants, all edible; created boykisser angels to protect it and planted in it a fruit tree which made fruit for Him. When He finished, it was late, so He decided to sleep.
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Remember to hydrate!
If you liked it, good!
If you don't, it's okay!
If you're mad, go fuck yourself!
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Boykisser Bible
FanfictionThis is a parody of the bible. Make it furry and gay. I'm going to tell you that this is satire and if you're gonna read it to hate on it just don't. We don't want you here :3 A story of romance between the boykisser and every single boy
